“Why can’t you say something cool?” Santos Escobar begged LA Knight on “SmackDown.” “Something interesting? Something that has a ring to it?”
I don’t know if I’ve ever agreed with a pro wrestler more. Why don’t people ask LA Knight those questions every time he speaks into a microphone? Do they just not realize it’s an option?
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I know, I know, it’s not impressive for me to talk negative about LA Knight, considering how many times I’ve done it in the past. Honestly, I’ve come around on his in-ring work way more than I ever expected to after his unexpected banger with AJ Styles at WrestleMania — I think he’s gotten his regular move set to the point where he can put on a really dynamic midcard title match, and he’s been executing everything really well lately. I don’t want him anywhere near a main event or world title program (thank you for turning Sami Zayn down, I appreciate that) but his matches have been consistently more additive than not.
On the mic, though … yeah, no, I’m sorry, but if anything he’s actively getting worse. I actually thought Escobar was pretty good as a talker this week, but when it came time for Knight to do his thing, it just fell apart in all the ways LA Knight promos usually fall apart.
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“I appreciate your ambition, I hear everything you’re saying, but I can feel this good staring a hole in me right now,” Knight said, referring to Escobar’s stablemate, Berto. “He’s looking at me like my head’s covered in barbeque sauce, maybe you’re hungry, I’m not sure.”
Like, what? What are you talking about? That complete non sequitur is followed by an awkward shoehorning in of the typical “babyface says nice things about local sports team” part of the promo, doused in casual sexism (because nothing pops Triple H these days like suggestive uses of the word “daddy”) and capped off with Knight’s aggressively stupid catchphrase, which is still stupid no matter what any of you say. Great stuff.
And of course, the subsequent match with Berto was perfectly fine! No complaints about that whatsoever, and I am actually very interested to see what Knight does with a returning Shinsuke Nakamura. I am so close to getting on board with you, LA Knight! Why can’t you say something cool?
Written by Miles Schneiderman