A new true crime documentary has laid bare the horrors of one woman’s nine-year catfishing ordeal – making her believe than the man she was in a relationship with had been shot, put into the witness protection programme and suffered a stroke.
Kirat Assi, 44, of west London, spent nearly a whole decade believing she was communicating online with a doctor named Bobby Jandu; first starting as friendship before blooming into more.
She had only met him once, on a night out in Brighton, in the early days of their exchanging messages – but he didn’t seem to recognise her, which she had blamed on his having had a few drinks at the time.
In a new Netflix documentary out today, titled Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare, Kirat recounted the elaborate deceit she was embroiled in – from the imposter creating some 60 Facebook profiles to keep validating various lies and proposing to her, to sending her a men’s T-shirt sprayed with aftershave, that she was convinced belonged to her lover.
The ‘couple’ – who are both in the Kenyan South Asian Sikh community in the UK – would at points speak on the phone nearly daily, the conversations at time becoming sexual, and endured shocking circumstances, including Bobby allegedly being shot, placed in the Witness Protection Programme and suffering a brain tumour.
Kirat Assi, 44, of west London , spent nearly a whole decade believing she was communicating online with a doctor named Bobby Jandu; first starting as friendship before blooming into more
‘Bobby’ eventually became obsessive and controlling, leaving Kirat suffering from chest pains and being signed off work due to stress.
But in reality, the profile was being managed by her female cousin, Simran Bhogal; whom Kirat had been confiding about her relationship troubles to.
In the documentary, Simran is portrayed by an actor.
In the documentary, Kirat recounted the bizarre lengths her cousin – who knew Bobby because she briefly dated his brother JJ – went to to connect her to the fake persona.
It is believed to be one of the longest-running and most complex case of catfishing to have come to light because the deception involved creating not just one person, but an entire community.
In 2009, Kirat, a prominent member of London’s Sikh community, was working as an arts and events assistant for Hounslow Community Services and presenting a show on Radio Desi, a station for the Punjabi community.
Both Kirat and the real life Bobby were in separate romantic relationships when the ploy started. And when Bobby got engaged, Kirat was even invited to his wedding – through the catfish’s account – as he tied the knot with a woman called Sanj in Kenya, in 2012.
However, things took a dark turn when Kirat suddenly heard that Bobby had been ‘shot’ in Kenya – and was in a coma.
Both Kirat and the real life Bobby were in separate romantic relationships when the ploy started. Pictured: The real Bobby
In a new Netflix documentary out today, titled Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare, Kirat recounted the elaborate deceit she was embroiled in
‘I feel sick seeing something like that,’ she told the documentary. ‘And I was so worried about him.’
She continued: ‘Then one day, I’m at work, I get a call from Simran that changes everything. Absolutely everything.
‘She tells me Bobby’s in Witness Protection in a hospital in New York recovering from his awful injuries.
‘I didn’t understand. Apparently he was escorted from Nairobi to New York with the support of Interpol.
‘I understood for someone to be in witness protection there had to be some kind of threat to life. Bobby’s from a well known family and some of the photos and things I’ve seen online show wealth, which is why he might be targeted.
‘People being shot in Kenya wasn’t unusual. It’s less common now but even in my own friends and family circle people have been murdered or killed.
Kirat revealed she ‘tried to be there’ for Bobby, but also at the time faced her own troubles. After 18 years, her own romantic relationship ended
But in reality, the profile – and those of some 50 others in the fake network of his ‘friends’ – was being managed by her female cousin, Simran Bhogal (far right); whom Kirat had been confiding about her relationship troubles to
‘I just thought after the shooting incident his powerful family had to get him out of danger.’
Suddenly, a new Facebook profile popped up, which Bobby was messaging Kirat from – apparently, against the advice of the witness protection programme, and wasn’t ‘coping’ well.
Kirat revealed she ‘tried to be there’ for Bobby, but also at the time faced her own troubles. After 18 years, her own romantic relationship ended.
‘Bobby would always check in on me even though he was struggling with his health,’ she recounted.
Four years into online messaging, Bobby had even confessed his love for Kirat – but she simply ignored it at the time, believing he wasn’t in the right space.
In 2022, she told the Sunday Times that she wanted catfishing to be taken more seriously as a deterrent to online fraudsters. Pictured, Kirat
Simran – posing as Bobby (pictured, the real Bobby) – even called Kirat as she was physically talking to the real Bobby at his house
Tragedy struck once again when Rajvir – another profile orchestrated by Simran – messaged Kirat to say Bobby had had a stroke.
He encouraged her to send a ‘farewell message’ for Bobby, which an emotional Kirat played in the documentary.
In it, she said: ‘I love you so much Bobby. Whatever it is we have, it’s special. I wish things could have been different. If I could just hold you once I’ll never forget you.
‘I love you Bobby.’
She added, in the programme: ‘I can’t believe it took him being on his deathbed for me to realise it was a special friendship.’
The relationship then turned romantic, in what Kirat explained was their ‘honeymoon’ phase.
They would constantly text each other sweet messages. One Valentine’s Day ‘Bobby’ wrote: ‘With a woman like you in my life I really am the luckiest man in the world.
‘You should be told how amazing you are every day, all year round. My beautiful Kirat, I love you.’
‘You make me smile every single day,’ Kirat replied in another instance. ‘You make me feel loved every single day.’
He had even proposed to Kirat on Facebook, making her believe marriage was in their future.
The couple could still not video call – due to his being in the witness protection programme – but they would voice call and stay up on the line all night.
Eventually, he began ‘speech therapy’ after his stroke – but even then it would still just be a ‘hoarse whisper’.
‘I found his voice very strange, very squeaky,’ Kirat’s mother told the documentary. ‘Kirat was very upset when I mentioned it. She said, “please don’t judge him”.
‘Despite this, I was very happy for Kirat.’
Bobby was soon forced to tell Kirat that he had become a father to a baby Sanj was having – as he had ‘slept with her seven of eight months ago before they got to together’.
The relationship soon turned dark and controlling. Bobby would want to be on the phone with Kirat all the time, and would even ask her where she went if she left to go to the bathroom
‘It just felt unfair… knowing how much I wanted to be a mum,’ she told the programme.
But even then, the pair decided to work through it – with Kirat even helping pick out baby clothes for Bobby’s son.
However, the relationship soon turned dark and controlling. Bobby would want to be on the phone with Kirat all the time, and would even ask her where she went if she left to go to the bathroom.
Her cousin Roshni told the programme she’d be spending time with Kirat and he’d constantly be trying to get in touch.
‘I noticed that she’s pulling away a lot from family… from me,’ she said. ‘I’m really worried about her at this point.
‘She looked like death.’
‘It was like Bobby owned my time now,’ Kirat admitted. ‘On several occasions I’d be tempted to disappear but if I tried to disappear something would happen.’
She was made redundant from her marketing job at the end of that year, and – accused by Bobby of being too ‘flirty’ with callers on her radio show – gave that up too.
Kirat faced even more turmoil when her grandmother, who she was extremely close to, passed away – and she couldn’t stay with her ‘because she was sleeping on the phone with Bobby every night’.
Soon, Bobby’s ‘witness protection’ programme was up, but he was still not making an effort to come to the UK, which Kirat was becoming increasingly frustrated with.
When he did finally make his way back, he still refused to see her – which had her taking matters into her own hands.
Soon, Bobby’s ‘witness protection’ programme was up, but he was still not making an effort to come to the UK, which Kirat was becoming increasingly frustrated with
Following more and more outlandish claims from ‘Bobby’, Kirat finally discovered that she had been communicating with Simran after hiring a private detective and confronting the ‘real life’ Bobby – who had no idea that his name was being used to launch a nine-year campaign of deceit.
After a private detective led Kirat to Bobby’s real address, she faced him him at his own doorstep – only to realise that he was still happily married with children and had no knowledge his identity was being used to trick her.
Simran – posing as Bobby – even called Kirat as she was physically talking to the real Bobby at his house.
The real Bobby and Sanj also appeared in the Netflix documentary, and recounted the big reveal.
Bobby said when he opened the door, he saw a woman ‘walking away’ – but then she suddenly ‘turned around and made eye contact’.
‘She starts walking back towards the house,’ he explained. ‘She says “Hi Bobby, it’s me Kirat.”
‘My wife Sanj is like, “Bobby who is this”.
‘And I just said, “I have no idea who this lady is, I’ve never spoken to her in my life.”
‘The lady looks straight at me. “Liar,” she says. “Liar, how can you say this”.’
‘He’s done nothing in the past that I can’t trust him for,’ Sanj said. ‘But who is she, why is she here?
‘I could just see her like, hyperventilating.’
Kirat had even called Simran at the time – who spoke to Bobby as well, telling him her cousin was just ‘confused’ – and was encouraged to come back home.
Kirat, who featured in the hugely popular six-part Sweet Bobby podcast hosted by Alexi Mostrous, has spoken candidly and openly about the horror of finding out the reality.
On the podcast, Kirat revealed how she ‘vomitted’ and ‘passed out’ after Simran eventually confessed to the truth on June 11, 2018.
After their meeting, both the real Bobby and Kirat went to the police – Simran had even gone to the station with her cousin and alleged that she had seen Bobby in New York on a work visit once, suggesting that he was simply being blackmailed by his wife.
The following day, both Kirat and Simran were meant to work from Kirat’s home together.
Kirat, who featured in the hugely popular six-part Sweet Bobby podcast hosted by Alexi Mostrous, has spoken candidly and openly about the horror of finding out the reality
‘Simran was supposed to come and work from here from the Monday morning but she took ages and I was a bit frustrated ’cause that wasn’t like her,’ she recounted.
‘I was pacing up and down my room just messaging people and the car eventually pulled up.
‘She didn’t get out immediately and I could see her and her brother arguing in the car… I wasn’t sure what was going on. It didn’t feel normal.’
Eventually, Simran just said: ‘It was all me.’
‘I didn’t understand… absolutely didn’t understand what she meant by that,’ Kirat said. ‘And she said, “I was Bobby, Bobby’s me”.
‘I still didn’t grasp what she was saying,’ she continued, and eventually revealed how she ‘fell back’, ‘kind of collapsed’ and called her best friend Harvey to come over.
‘I kept screaming at her’ she recalled. ‘”Why, why did you do this, why would you do this.”.
‘Ten years of my life, you’ve stolen ten years of my life. How could you be so sick. You had every chance to stop.
‘You had a million and one chances to stop. I tried to end the relationship so many times. What did I do to deserve this.’
The podcast also spoke to Bobby, who also said he discovered that Simran was catfishing his brother at the same time as she was catfishing Kirat.
‘She’s the last person I’d choose in a line-up as guilty for this whole thing,’ he admitted.
In the Netflix documentary, Bobby said that he received a message from Simran confessing that it was ‘basically her’ and that she ‘didn’t know why she did it’.
While she stated she’d seek counselling, Bobby claimed that she encouraged him to keep the police out of the situation.
‘I will not be hiding anything from the police,’ he replied. ‘Thank you for coming clean, good luck.’
Kirat went to police, who said no criminal offence had taken place. She later brought a civil action against Simran, which was settled out of court.
However, in the Netflix documentary, Kirat said that, without being ‘crude’ if her and the fake Bobby were in an ‘intimate situation’, ‘I haven’t given any consent to Simran to do anything with me.’
Roshni, who was a teenager when ‘Bobby’ first appeared in their lives, also said that she at the time would also share personal information with him thinking he was a medical practitioner.
Roshni’s mother Jaswant said that she would describe Simran as ‘cruel’.
‘It’s just unbelievable one person could do what they have.’
Elsewhere, Kirat’s father, Saravpal, admitted: ‘I’d never even heard of catfishing before… it should be made a crime.’
‘I just want to ask Simran, why did she do this to Kirat,’ her mother Akvinder added.
Kirat concluded: ‘Catfishing, it’s like a pop-culture term where it’s a bit of fun. It’s entertainment for the onlookers.
‘I want to help break the stigma to help victims from being shamed.
‘We need to understand why the internet should be regulated. I’m not looking for sympathy.
‘I’m looking for people to say this is wrong. We need to be making people accountable.
In 2022, she told the Sunday Times that she wanted catfishing to be taken more seriously as a deterrent to online fraudsters
‘I am now 44 and I am doing my utmost to get my life to where it should be.
‘Will I ever be a mum? At my age now, it’s a massive question mark. But I’ve got to be responsible for my future. Simran never will be.’
The end credits read: ‘ Simran was offered the opportunity to be interviewed and declined
‘She said that this matter involved events that began when she was a schoolgirl.
‘She considers it a private matter and strongly objects to what she describes as “numerous unfounded” and damaging accusations.’
In 2022, she told the Sunday Times that she wanted catfishing to be taken more seriously as a deterrent to online fraudsters.
‘I think it might serve as a deterrent for a lot of people to know that if you’re caught then immediately it’s a crime, just like driving with a mobile in your hand’, she said.
‘I call it online entrapment. I wasn’t on a dating site, I’m private online. The connotations associated with the term catfishing are that it’s fun.
‘This impacted my health, my family, friends, social life, my radio work, my career, absolutely everything.’
Further investigation on the podcast also suggested that Simran may have had a history of being dishonest on social media as far back as when she was at college.
Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare is out on Netflix