Remeo
Blackcurrant ice lollies
£4.50 for 3, waitrose.com
Love the colour. Yeah. Cherry, like black cherry nail polish. Oh, it looks good. It’s too sweet, it is well balanced, you know. But a little sweet. I don’t think I could eat a whole one. I’d have to have a lolly partner. I’d eat half of it. It’s nostalgic, it’s retro.
★★★
M&S Food
Mango and passion fruit kefir frozen yoghurt
£3.30, 500ml, Marks & Spencer
I can’t tell what flavour this is. Like passion fruit-y, like a bit, but I’m not sure. Is it more like a sorbet? Tastes like my childhood, like a Kenyan fruit bowl. Nice. It’s quite acidic. It’s got a tang, very interesting. Quite like that, actually. The texture, it’s a good texture. It still feels light. It doesn’t feel like a heavy, dairy, you know, like. I would have that again.
★★★★★
Tesco
Pineapple coconut and lime ice lollies
£2.50 for 4, tesco.com
Tastes like flat lemonade. A bitter aftertaste, a bit coconutty as well. Coconut flat lemonade, not nice. There’s a funny aftertaste. I don’t like that.
★
Co-op Irresistible
Italian pistachio, raspberry and mascarpone gelato
£4.75, 350ml, coop.co.uk
It doesn’t feel like there’s enough pistachio paste in it. Is it strawberry, the layer? It doesn’t really work to have this icy layer in something creamy, but it doesn’t feel rich enough. It feels a bit flat, a bit diluted, and then the raspberry layer dilutes it even more. It doesn’t make sense.
★★
Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference
Pink lemonade ice lollies
£2.50 for 4, sainsburys.co.uk
To me this tastes like Refreshers or those kinds of powdery-ish sweets.
★★
Haagen-Dazs
Macaron vanilla and blueberry ice-cream
From £5.35, 420ml, Tesco, Asda, Morrisons and Ocado
Is this a ripple? I quite like this. It’s quite weird to look at – almost purple, but I don’t mind that. Is it scone, or biscuit pieces? It tastes a bit like afternoon tea by the seaside.
★★★★
Aldi Specially Selected
Raspberry lollies
£2.09 for 4, aldi.co.uk
It looks like it might be a pomegranate flavour? Raspberry? Sharp, but not in a pleasant way.
★
Best buy:
Waitrose No 1
Alphonso mango and passion fruit ice-cream
£4.40, 500ml, waitrose.com
Passion fruit and … something else? Feels quite creamy, quite rich. I like the texture. It tastes rich – I can’t tell if there’s meant to be another flavour. The passion fruit is strong, but not in a bad way. Creamy, rich, sharp, balanced.
★★★★★
M&S Food
Nut your average ice-cream
£4, 500ml, Marks & Spencer
I’m not sure about this one. Why would you want to put a whole nut in an ice-cream? The ice-cream is delicious, but I’d rather have it in chocolate form, like a bar.
★★★★
Tesco Finest
Raspberry eton mess ice-cream tub
£3, 480ml, tesco.com
Whatever is this weird sugary ripple? It’s really sweet, quite sickly. I don’t think the ripple works – it is raspberry? There are sugary bits. I think it is not nice.
★
Asda
Mango sorbet
£2.55, 500ml, asda.com
This smells like mango. Looks like mango. Tastes like mango. But I think I’d rather have a mango. It doesn’t have the sumptiousness you get from a really lovely mango, that unbridled mango joy.
★★
M&S Food
Chocolate peanut cones
£3.75 for 4, Marks & Spencer
This has some bits on top. Chocolate peanuts? I like peanutty things. The ice-cream doesn’t feel rich. It’s a chocolate cone, excellent cone, and there’s a generous amount of chocolate in the bottom. It’s not exciting, but I’ll eat it.
★★
Gelatelli
Strawberry cheesecake premium
£2.49, 500ml, Lidl
Oh! This is strawberry shortcake. Fun! But very, very sweet. The biscuity bits are nice. The berry is strong. Like a friend you see little of – fun in short measures. One spoonful is enough.
★★★
Morrisons the Best
Madagascan vanilla ice-cream
£3, 500ml, morrisons.com
I think this is just vanilla. But it’s not very vanilla. I’d want to see vanilla ice-cream mottled with lots of seeds, but this doesn’t have that. It’s a bit milky, and not very creamy or rounded.
★★
Waitrose
Lemon drizzle cake ice-cream
£3.40, 480ml, waitrose.com
A big hit of citrus smell. I’ve never eaten washing-up liquid but … would it taste like this? It tastes like lemon frosting on a cake. One made by the nana that’s not a very good nana. It’s not subtle.
★★
Ravinder Bhogal is chef patron of Jikoni, London WC1