Sophie Ellis-Bextor admits Strictly was so ‘uncomfortable’ for her husband he needed counselling, ‘spiralled’ when she wouldn’t text back and convinced himself she would leave him

Sophie Ellis-Bextor has shared a candid insight into the damaging toll appearing on Strictly Come Dancing had on her marriage to her husband Richard Jones.

The singer, 45, who appeared on the 2013 series of the BBC dance show, said that her time on the programme left Richard feeling ‘left out in the cold’.

In her 2021 book, Spinning Plates, Sophie detailed how he became ‘unusually’ obsessed with her whereabouts and convinced himself she wanted to leave him.

Sophie, who was partnered with professional dancer Brendan Cole, insisted he was  ‘a complete gentleman’ and said Richard ‘liked’ him, amid a worrying string of mounting allegations against the show and its dancers.

However, despite her perfect partnership and experience with Brendan, 48, the show still impacted the previously ‘solid’ marriage in a negative way.

The singer, 45, who appeared on the 2013 series of the BBC dance show, said that her time on the programme left Richard feeling ‘left out in the cold’ (pictured with Richard in 2024)

Sophie made it to the final and finished in fourth place, behind Natalie Gumede, Susanna Reid and Abbey Clancy, who won the show that year. 

Detailing her time on the show, Sophie wrote: ‘By the final week, I was done. I can remember standing beside the dance floor with Abbey Clancy and we were both saying how ready we were to go back to our husbands and our normal lives.

‘All the while, Richard was feeling left out in the cold. He was worried he was losing me. Not that I was going to run off with anyone – he liked Brendan and knew that nothing was going to happen there – but I think he thought that something was awakening in me and he felt he wasn’t part of my future.’

Despite her attempts she couldn’t change his mind, she said: ‘I never, ever felt like that, but I couldn’t convince him. He could see that I was completely wrapped up in the show and consumed with the intensity of it and the constant learning, learning, learning which you share with one other person – your dance partner.

Noting the change in is behaviour, she added: ‘Richard became unusually insistent on knowing where I was all the time. If I didn’t reply to a text, he’d spiral.’

‘Supporting me in all that I do usually came so easily to him, but with Strictly I think he was just waiting for it to end. He’d message me all day when I was rehearsing, extra keen to know my schedule.’

‘We would argue when I was home about how distracted I was and about whether I’d get through to the next week. He just felt as if I might slip into a new life that left our family behind.

‘I had no such desire, but was too spent at the end of the day to give the reassurance he needed. I think the only real reassurance could come with the show finishing.’

In her 2021 book, Spinning Plates, Sophie detailed how he became ‘unusually’ obsessed with her whereabouts and convinced himself she wanted to leave him

Sophie, who was partnered with professional dancer Brendan Cole , insisted he was ‘a complete gentleman’ and said Richard ‘liked’ him, amid a worrying string of mounting allegations against the show and its dancers

Sophie was struggling with her marriage off-screen but revealed there was no emotional support available on Strictly to help her with her personal life.

She said: ‘I feel terrible that I did that to him and at Strictly Towers there was no one to help. There’s no emotional care at all – aside from the wisdom and make-up-chair counsel of the folk working backstage.

‘For the dancers, too, they have to be choreographer, dancer and occasional psychiatrist. It starts off with you just being keen to show you can do the right heel or toe footwork for the chief judge, then your confidence in your ability to act or be sexy gets tested, and that is more emotionally challenging.’

Sophie explained that Richard began counselling a month into the show and admitted she wishes she had done the same.

She said: ‘I do think they should have a counsellor, just to check in with the contestants. Richard began seeing a counsellor after I’d been in the show a month or so, and it really helped. Perhaps I should have, too.’

Strictly is currently facing its biggest crisis in its 20 years since it returned to the BBC in its current form as a wave of complaints from past celebrity contestants have the show in recent months.

However, despite her perfect partnership and experience with Brendan, 48, the show still impacted the previously ‘solid’ marriage in a negative way (pictured with Richard in 2021)

Professional Graziano Di Prima, 30, was axed from the show last week following claims he allegedly hit and spat at his dancing partner Zara McDermott, 27, during rehearsals.

Weeks before, Giovanni Pernice, 33, was suspended while a BBC probe is conducted over claims of off-camera misconduct made by Amanda Abbingto, 50, and two other former celeb partners.

James Jordan has also poured fuel on the flames of the Strictly bullying row after Steve Backshall complained that his dancer wife ‘bullied’ him while on the programme in 2014.

The former Strictly pro took to social media to make a jibe at the seasoned television explorer after it emerged that he lodged a complaint with the BBC over professional dancer Ola’s ‘rude and impatient manner’.

Responding to a Strictly fan’s mocking disbelief that the hardened explorer – who has dived with Great White sharks and wrestled poisonous snakes in his career – could be ‘reduced to tears’ by the 5ft4 dancer, James joked ‘please help me!!’

MailOnline has revealed the show’s hosts Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman could begin the new series with an apology for alleged abusive behaviour suffered by celebs in a desperate attempt to save the show.

BBC bosses are said to be desperate to draw ‘an immediate line’ under the scandal when it begins in September and sources have said it ‘can’t start quick enough’.

They said the presenters may be asked to address it at the start of the first show and could even say sorry after complaints from Amanda Abbington, Zara McDermott and Steve Backshall.

The insider told us: ‘This year’s Strictly is the 20th anniversary and it will be a celebration of the show and its history.

‘The BBC will want to draw an immediate line under what has happened. The show can’t start soon enough’.

It comes amid claims a host of Strictly celeb contestants have set up a ‘secret support group’ where they have shared their own horror stories and corroborated one another’s claims. 

But Tess and Claudia may not address the sudden departures of Giovanni and Graziano.

Graziano admits kicking Zara once in a rehearsal but Giovanni has branded allegations about his teaching methods ‘simply false’. His supporters say he has high standards.

‘The BBC won’t want to go there’, the source claimed.

The series’ launch show where pairings will be revealed is pencilled in for September 4 with live shows beginning two weeks later. 

It will then run for 13 weeks until the final in December.