PADDY McGUINNESS has found the funny side of his divorce – turning it into some of his best material for his new stand-up show.
The TV presenter and comic returned to live comedy for the first time in eight years on Thursday with his Nearly There show.
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And it took him just 63 seconds to get in a dig at Christine, from whom he split in 2022 after 11 years of marriage and three children together.
Addressing his near-sellout crowd at Blackburn’s King George’s Hall, Bolton-born Paddy said: “It’s all about love and respect tonight.
“Loads of love in this room. I don’t care what race you are, what religion, what your sexuality is.
“I don’t care how you identify. You can identify as a cat, for all I care.
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“Put your litter tray in the corner, knock yourself out.
“Tonight, folks, we’re all here as human beings with one common goal — and that’s to help me pay for my divorce. I’ve had the pants down, me, the pants down.”
Amid howls of laughter from the audience, the BBC Radio 2 presenter — who is set to do a charity bike ride for Children In Need next month across Wales, England and Scotland — added: “I’m thinking of getting Children In Need to do a bike ride for me next year, or come round to a bedsit in Bolton filming me.”
The 90-minute show was laden with knee-slapping snipes at other celebs, including Amazon boss Jeff Bezos and his baldness, axed ITV star Phillip Schofield, disgraced newsreader Huw Edwards . . . and Prince Andrew.
Paddy said: “Eight years ago, you could go down to London, enjoy a day out with the family, do a bit of sightseeing, go to Buckingham Palace.
“And if you look in at the Royal Balcony, you’d see the warm, friendly face . . . a few of you are ahead of me there, aren’t you?
“Prince Andrew, there he is! We love you, Andrew! He never breaks a sweat, does he?”
And in a routine on Botox, he said of Simon Cowell: “My God, he has got a face like a melted Caramac.”
Paddy’s comedy comeback was hilarious — although Christine may disagree, given his divorce jibe.
With the pair still sharing their Cheshire pad, there could be a frosty reception when he gets home.