DEAR DEIDRE: My unemployed boyfriend is turning his nose up at shopping in value supermarkets.
He is so proud that he even looks down on people who buy second-hand clothes.
I’m 26 and my boyfriend’s 29. We’ve been together for two years. He lost his job recently so he doesn’t have much money. I have offered to buy him food and suggested shopping at a cheaper supermarket but he ignores my suggestions.
I also thought he could go to a food bank temporarily or cut down on luxuries but he has a real problem with this. I told him there is nothing wrong with cutting back. Most people struggle at some point, especially at the moment with the cost-of-living crisis.
How can I get through to him? I find his attitude really off-putting. I have tried telling him that we should be grateful for all we have but it falls on deaf ears.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It can be devastating for many to be out of work. He may be embarrassed about asking for help but there is no shame in it if he needs it. Losing his job was not his fault.
He may not be able to swallow his pride but he’s not doing himself any favours by taking this stance. Sometimes, people feel vulnerable asking for help or feel like a failure.
He does sound judgemental and you will have to decide whether this is something you can accept about him because it is unlikely he will change.