Inside the secret life of cabin crew: ‘A flight attendant had sex with the captain in the seat while he was flying’

‘One girl put on 5lbs and they started weighing her before flights’

I started as cabin crew in the last few years. My plan is to do a year or two and see the world a little bit, and then leave. Some people don’t even last a month, though. It’s a really challenging job — I’m used to hard work, but it’s very demanding on every level. It is very bad for your health. There’s always someone who’s sick.

But I absolutely love it. There’s no other job in the world that would give you this experience. What I do find tough is the fact you’re always flying with a different crew. Sometimes you’re on a flight and you get on so well with your supervisors, but then you have other times that your supervisor might be a bit too intense or a bit too lackadaisical. And that can mess with your brain.

When you first qualify, you do these supervised flights that are very intense. I remember right before we landed, the supervisor sat us all down and went around us one by one to give us feedback in front of the whole group.

She would tell one person they were amazing, then told one girl she was absolutely atrocious, and that she should just quit now. It was brutal, I felt so bad for her. And she was so passionate, she was in it for a long-haul career. I never thought someone would treat people like that.

You need to be immaculate on a flight. I’m one of those girls who doesn’t give a shit about make-up; I’m terrible at it. I’ll roll out of bed like 30 minutes before a flight and just do a quick little bit of foundation, do my hair up and away I go. And then someone else would be off for like two hours before a flight, getting the flick of the winged eyeliner just right. But your supervisor will tell you if you need to touch up your lipstick or fix your hair.

You get weighed on your first day, and they record that. And then once your six-month probation period is over, you’re weighed again. They have their BMI and you have to stick to that. You can also be pulled before flights at random times to check your weight.

During my eight-week training, one girl put on five pounds and that was a big issue. They put her in a weight-management programme, sort of a ‘fat camp’. They were stopping her before every third flight and checking her weight, reminding her of the right foods to eat, until she managed to reduce her weight.

It’s completely about the way you look. That’s all they care about. If your teeth aren’t straight, you won’t get the job. One person I know didn’t get the job because they had a two-inch scar on their leg, and they were told that’s an imperfection.

You do get passengers flirting with you. And pilots, too. Some of them are very subtle about it and would just be like, ‘Oh, any plans for the layover?’ Whereas there are others who are like, ‘Do you want to go into the bathroom?’ I just laugh it off.

Some of the passengers we get are so rude. They’ll click their fingers at you, or pinch you as you’re coming up the aisle to get your attention. There was one customer who obviously decided that he didn’t enjoy waiting for the bathroom, so he just urinated against the emergency exit door.

There’s a lot of stuff that happens on board that passengers wouldn’t have a clue about. We’ve had prisoners in handcuffs. There are a lot of code words that the pilots would use in an emergency situation, which the passengers wouldn’t understand. We know what the dings mean, or what a code phrase means — the aircraft is losing oxygen, or there’s a fire in one of the toilets.

‘Business class passengers are far more demanding. They want their 16 G&Ts’

Brendan* has been working for a global airline for 35 years and lives in the UK

​I started a very long time ago, back in the 1980s. To be honest, passengers have always been annoying. But a lot of that now is a result of cutbacks in the industry. You could have 100 passengers and two crew, so the pressure is on. And in business class, people are far more demanding. They want their Champagne and their 16 G&Ts. Unfortunately, as the passengers have become so much more demanding, the standards have gone down.

You see a lot of people trying to sneak into business class. People try to blag upgrades by just going and sitting in a business-class seat. You know exactly how many business passengers you’re getting on board, and when you do a head count, there’s always one or two extras in there. And when you approach them, they try to insist they have the status or miles. But it’s always a lie.

I haven’t had anyone arrested, but I’ve had security meet a flight before. There was a group travelling for a work night out. One of the girls had been refused boarding by the ground staff in the terminal. The rest of the party came on board and were just abusive the entire flight, confrontational the entire way. One man was continuously abusive. So much so that the captain came out when we landed and tried reasoning with him. It’s like the last bastion, the captain trying to calm things down. Eventually, the captain said, “Look at the state of you, man, just go.” He lost the plot with him.

I’ve never had any hassle as male cabin crew. You get the occasional member of a flight deck who can be a bit frosty. But other than that, it’s never been an issue. One time, a young girl grabbed my ass during boarding. That really shocked me. And I said to her, “Let’s swap positions shall we?” For female crew though, it happens all the time.

Flying has definitely gotten worse over the years. People used to dress to go flying. Now, they just look like a sack of shit. I can understand to a certain degree, because the pleasure of flying is completely gone.

I’ve had a passenger piss in a life jacket. We’ve had people piss in the galley before, because the toilets were occupied. A female friend of mine had a passenger expose himself during the seatbelt check. People wet and soil themselves fairly regularly, too. Some routes are like the Diarrhoea Express. You’d have to wrap them in blankets, or try to find them a spare pair of trousers. Sometimes it happens so suddenly, then there’s a trail of shit running down the aisle.

Most of the pilots are nice guys, but there was a captain who would go down the hotel corridor on layovers, trying to get someone to open their door. It does happen occasionally, but to be honest, it’s not very common. However, there was a crew member I knew years ago, and she had sex with the captain in the seat while he was flying. Hats off to her flexibility.

Layovers now are cut to the bone. It’s just about getting minimum rest. Generally, they don’t like you there longer than necessary, because it’s costing them money. If you do have longer, you’re allowed to go out and get drunk, so long as you don’t drink for 11 hours before your next flight. People do stick to it. There would be crew with drink problems, but a very small amount, probably reflective of normal society.

There are eating disorders, too. On some airlines, crew are weighed prior to their briefing before duty and, if they were overweight, that was it.

A long, long time ago, I did a recruitment day for a big airline. I did the whole day, and found out at the end I’d been accepted. And then you had to try on the uniform, and they weigh you.

When I got on the scale, they pulled me aside and said, “Unfortunately, in your application form, you told us you were 12 stone and you’re actually 13 stone. So we’re going to withdraw our offer and you can contact us when you’ve lost weight.​

‘I’ve seen it all. Toilets overflowing, people pooing on the seats. It’s absolutely disgusting’

Noeleen* has been flying for a long-haul airline for over a decade and is based in Ireland

I always loved flying. I was obsessed with flying. Over 10 years ago, I left my permanent job for a short-term contract as cabin crew, and I never looked back. However, people don’t realise that many jobs are seasonal — you might have no job from October to May. So a lot of crew also have a second job, because, realistically, the pay that some of the new staff are on just isn’t enough.

On some airlines, you only get paid when the doors are closed. So when you’re loading on the passengers, or helping with the bags, you’re not getting paid.

People think that we’re just there to stack the bags and serve drinks, but when things go very wrong, we’re there to get you off that plane. Look at the incident with Japan Airlines (One of the airline’s planes collided with a Japan Coast Guard aircraft while landing and subsequently burst into flames) — all those people wouldn’t have gotten off alive if it weren’t for those cabin crew. It wasn’t the pilots, they didn’t save the day. I doubt that pilots even know how to conduct a proper evacuation. But we’re also nurses, we’re waitresses, we’re fire fighters. We’re so many different things.

How they got the passengers off in Japan was by stressing, ‘It’s your life, or it’s your bag.’ And it worked because it was Japanese passengers. If that had happened in Ireland, people 100pc would have taken their bags. If that was an English or Irish airline, I’m telling you now, it wouldn’t have ended up the same way.

People absolutely don’t pay attention enough during the safety briefing. I actually think they nearly mock it. It’s second nature to me now, but if I see someone laughing at me, I think, ‘You won’t be laughing if we evacuate.’ If they’re laughing at me, I’m laughing at them, thinking of what they would do in an emergency.

Sometimes, it’s frequent fliers who are the worst kind of passenger, because they have that level of expectation every single time. I do a lot of holiday flights and that’s when you know everyone is in a good mood. That family has spent thousands of euro and they’re so excited, and I’m excited for them. It’s those people that I love. There are cabin crew who don’t really care as much, but I love the flight, the destinations and the passengers. Some people don’t want to go to work, but I love it.

My nightmare customer is somebody who is drunk. People are excited and merry, they’re in the bar before the flight, forgetting they’re about to get on a plane. They come to the aircraft door absolutely langers, and you and the crew have to make a call about whether or not they’re sober enough to fly.

People think of the aircraft like a pub, but realistically, if something goes wrong, it’s just me and the crew. The pilots can’t come out and help us. If you’ve got four women looking after a stag party of 15 guys, that’s very difficult to handle and manage.

There’s something called the Tokyo Convention, which means that once we shut that door, it’s like commander’s rules. Whatever is ordered by the flight deck, we have to do. If we have to handcuff a passenger who’s out of control, they can’t actually do anything about it. It basically means the captain is in control. It’s important the people know that the pilot can get the police to meet the plane, even for something like disruption on the flight. And he can order that your flight home is cancelled, and you’d never get to fly with that airline ever again.

I’ve seen it all. Toilets overflowing, people pooing on the seats, on the ground, it’s disgusting. My biggest issue is people going to the toilet in their bare feet. Do they think that it’s water all over the floor? It’s certainly not water. It’s 100pc pee, going onto your feet, then you’re touching your feet, touching your face, it’s absolutely disgusting.

People think that the crew are their personal babysitters for their kids. They have a few drinks, then before you know it, they’re drunk, and assuming you’re going to look after them.

Layovers can be anything from one to five nights, and it can be one of two things. It can be a massive party, with loads of drinks, or it can be chilled and relaxed. It depends on the crew and the destination. What I do find now is a lot more crew aren’t drinking — they’re choosing fitness, mindfulness and self-care over going out and drinking. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still madness and wildness, but it’s not on the level it used to be, back in the day. When I first joined, it was carnage.

There are still some pervy pilots, but not as many as there used to be. The stories from back in the day are wild. There are still a lot of goings on between flight deck and crew, but that’s the nature of any job. It’s bound to happen. But cheating? I don’t think it happens as much as it used to, but maybe I’m being naive. But even today, there are a lot of girls who’ll get with a guy just because he’s a pilot.

A pilot’s mindset is very different to that of a normal human being. It’s very calculated — they like to be in control, and if they’re not in control, they can’t cope. A pilot thinks that they can get anybody just because they’re a pilot. Which is funny, because there are a lot of ugly pilots. You’ll see them with these beautiful girls, and it makes no sense… until you realise they’re pilots.”

‘We gossip about passengers – who is doing your head in’

Originally from Europe, Francesca* is now based in Ireland and works for an international airline

​I’ve been cabin crew for over 20 years. So I’ve seen a lot of changes. The working conditions have changed a lot and the standards have changed a lot. The CEOs of lots of airlines only want young people in the job for two or three years, now. People like me are the fossils of the industry, they don’t want people for the long haul.

I wouldn’t still be in this job if I didn’t love it, but a lot of young people think it’s all about travel, cheap flights and partying. But that’s not the reality of the role of cabin crew. I think that’s the TikTok reality.

My worst kind of flight would be to somewhere like Alicante or Ibiza. People are completely intoxicated coming on board. You already know they’re going to be causing trouble, they’re going to be messy. They’re not going to be very pleasant for the other passengers who are not in that party. And those are really demanding flights. You really have to police them all the time and you have to think about safety as well. If something happens, if they’re getting even more intoxicated and they are irresponsible, you will need to have maybe the police meeting the aircraft on arrival. They’re not fun flights to work.

The level of drinking is definitely worse now. People are trying to sneak their own alcohol on board. There’s a reason you can’t drink your own alcohol on board. We need to know what you’re drinking. We had to handcuff a passenger once, he was so drunk.

And then you have flights where people have been taking drugs. You just don’t know what they’ve taken. It could be just even sleeping tablets with alcohol, but the body behaves differently in the air than on the ground. There are special aviation medical centres that are available to us the whole time, so we can call them and get medical assistance while we’re in the air.

An aircraft is like any other workplace. There is office politics, bitching, gossip. We do gossip about passengers, too: who is good looking, who is doing your head in, who has had too much plastic surgery. I was on a flight once where it turned out the captain had gone out with two of the cabin crew. The passengers wouldn’t have a clue, but you can see a lot of tension and a lot of bitching.

The only place you can be by yourself for two seconds is the toilets and it’s not the nicest place on the aircraft. But even on the seats, people leave such a mess after themselves. Especially with their kids — there’s food all over the floor and they don’t even try to pick it up. There’s such a quick turnaround when you land, so you know that popcorn is going to be on the floor all day.

We have to do a full safety and equipment inspection, and that takes priority. There’s a full security search, too. And it takes a lot of time. Airlines want the aircraft to go as fast as possible and I find the crew rushing, rushing, rushing. I worry that now we have so much pressure on the crew. They want to focus on being punctual, but we can’t cut corners all the time. Safety needs to be the number one.

On one flight, there was a lady and a guy who met in the airport before the flight. They ended up sitting beside each other by chance, and they hooked up on the plane, touching each other under a coat. I’ve also had a couple fighting on the flight, and I had to put one at the front of the airplane and one at the back.

I find I meet people that will never get a chance to meet in my normal life. You can make special connections. I met someone who was very ill and that trip was going to be their last. We both cried, and it was very special. What I love about my job is that you can really make people happy or get to know great people by doing very little. By just being normal.

* Names have been changed