THINGS you don’t expect to see of a Friday morning in Wales: Rob Brydon “raw-dogging” a red pepper, James Corden being serenaded by a trumpet and Ruth Jones sipping a warm, fake white wine.
But, on Barry Island, anything goes.
Ahead of its hugely anticipated Christmas Day return, I have been invited down for an unprecedented behind-the-scenes look at Gavin & Stacey.
Millions of viewers are expected to tune in to the last show of the cult BBC One comedy drama, a series that made household names of its ridiculously talented writers, James and Ruth.
“We’ve thrown absolutely everything at this to try to make it be as satisfactory as it can be for a big audience,” James says.
“We started writing 20 years ago and it’s nuts, inconceivable, that it means more to people now than it did 20 years ago.
READ MORE ON GAVIN AND STACEY
“I still feel pressure — there’s pressure all the time because you don’t want to let anybody down.
“I think it’s the closest you could get to being called up to the England team in terms of something meaning a lot to a lot of people.
“You are representing your country right now in a sense, you know?
“And so, it’s a lot . . . but we’ve really tried our absolute best.”
Thrillingly though, I have been cast as an extra. But, alas, a stringent NDA code-named “Toffee” means I am not allowed to give away any spoilers or, should I stumble upon a major plot twist, reveal it.
I take my role very seriously: Sitting in a beer garden, nursing a zero per cent wine opposite Ruth. I’m in the background (very background) of “scene 32”.
Coquettishly, I keep flicking my hair, smiling and laughing unnecessarily, and generally trying to steal the scene. This could be my big break.
“I wouldn’t over-think it,” a cameraman later tells me. “We’ll be lucky if we get your shoulder in.” Oh.
Still, I am sort of, if you squint, part of Gavin & Stacey folklore now and soon get “papped” by the 100 or so watching fans monitoring uber-Stan account Barrybados — an Instagram fanzine tracking the cast and crew’s every moment.
Earlier in the week, 500 of them had gathered on Barry’s Trinity Street, chanting “Oggy, Oggy, Oggy!” on their last day of filming there.
Barry Island has done more for Welsh tourism than any PR agency ever could.
Genuine chemistry
There is also a Premier League football twist to this episode, with one club such a fan of the show, they gifted the cast first team replica shirts (“Toffee” forbids me from saying anything else).
For the 0.2 per cent of the population who haven’t seen the show, let’s recap.
Gavin & Stacey, centred around the lives of two families: One in Billericay, Essex, the other in Barry, Vale of Glamorgan, with Mat Horne and Joanna Page playing the title characters.
James, 46, and Ruth, 58, star as Smithy and Nessa, the pair’s best friends, who have a love/hate relationship.
Alison Steadman and Larry Lamb star as Gavin’s parents, Pam and Mick, Melanie Walters plays Stacey’s mother Gwen, and Rob Brydon plays Stacey’s uncle Bryn.
Imbued with warmth, gentle humour and characters with genuine chemistry, what started life as a BBC Three show quickly garnered a word-of-mouth following, eventually reaching BBC One primetime.
The last episode, on December 25, 2019, was the most viewed non-sporting event of the decade, and was left on a cliff-hanger when Nessa proposed to Smithy in the street.
Of course, on screen, Ruth is loud-mouthed, larger-than-life and heavily tattooed. Frankly, she is not someone you’d want to bump into on a cold, dark night in winter. Off it, she is softly spoken, incredibly warm and down to earth.
Although she is not filming on the day I’m there, she is busy behind the camera, directing proceedings between takes.
Her average day sees her arrive on set at 6.30am and spend an hour and a half in make-up, which largely consists of getting her giant Welsh dragon tattoo inked on.
Between takes, a team of make-up artists, watching from a small marquee, rush on to set to touch up hair and make-up.
Nessa is a chain smoker — so Ruth, a non-smoker, is given honey and rose petal herbal cigarettes to puff away on.
Filming finishes around 7pm, and includes an hour’s break for lunch in trailers on an industrial estate nearby. These are long days.
I’m blessed with the fact that Nessa is a very static character
Ruth Jones
Says Ruth, sipping from her pretend drink: “I’m quite old now and I’m quite tired, and the days are pretty full-on. In series one, Nessa was wearing boots, like I am now. But they had a heel, quite a high heel on them, and quite a narrow stiletto heel.
“I look at them and think, ‘How the hell did I ever wear these?’.
“And now, 17 years later, I’m just having to get my orthotics, so I’ve got a much lower heel.
“But also I’m blessed with the fact that Nessa is a very static character. There’s a sort-of bovine elegance to her, I feel, and she moves with great authority, but she doesn’t move fast.
“So that’s quite good for me.”
You see? Ruth: Very, very funny on and off screen.
It is also her birthday, and mid-afternoon the cast interrupt an indoor pub scene for James to present her with a giant cake.
Rob gives her some flowers and everyone sings a raucous version of Happy Birthday.
Ruth gives a brilliant speech, thanking everyone for being “so wonderful”, and ending it: “Right, let’s all go out tonight and have an orgy later!” “God,” quips Rob, nodding pointedly at me.
Fiercely loyal
“That’s just what the BBC needs — to be embroiled in yet another sex scandal.” At this point, Rob casually picks up a red pepper and starts loudly and methodically munching on it, stalk and all.
“You’ll doubtless be fascinated to hear I also like celery,” he adds, looking at my notebook.
It’s clear the cast are good pals.
After chatting to James over a canteen aubergine gratin (he has to wash his fork and give it to me when I drop mine down the back of his sofa) the cast gather round as someone plays a mini trumpet.
Ruth and James met 25 years ago on the set of ITV drama Fat Friends and have remained, well, real friends ever since. Like any nice baby, Gavin & Stacey was conceived in the Crowne Plaza in Leeds, James reveals (Blue Plaque incoming).
They wrote their first episode in a London hotel near Selfridges, on the morning of a This Morning appearance to promote Fat Friends.
Ruth, awarded an MBE for services to entertainment in 2014, has enjoyed roles on stage and TV, including Stella, ever since.
She has also become a Sunday Times best-selling author and is about to publish her fourth novel.
She remains modest, though, insisting she is rarely recognised in real life.
“There’s usually places that are more Nessa receptive than others: Marks and Spencer Culverhouse Cross is quite a specific one,” she says.
Because I’m not on social media at all, I can’t contact people the normal way really
Ruth Jones
Her best mate, meanwhile, has gone on to have a meteoric rise to fame, culminating in award-winning roles in Broadway and on the West End, as well as his own smash-hit chat show Stateside, where he attracted the great and good of Hollywood. And Prince Harry.
Indeed, the finale is getting the Hollywood treatment.
It is made by production company Fulwell 73, the firm behind James’ chat show and some of the world’s starriest movies, music videos and documentaries, and Tidy, Ruth’s own company.
Despite rumours that James and co-star Mat don’t get on — the pair were once best friends — it is clear there is no animosity whatsoever.
They laugh between takes and are staying in the same five-star Cardiff hotel during my time in Wales. Certainly, Ruth and James’ friendship is stronger than ever.
Ruth, being brilliant, is fiercely loyal to her best mate and she has even been known to contact people who have been unkind.
She explains: “Honestly, because I’m not on social media at all, I can’t contact people the normal way really. But I have written to people — one a Guardian writer — who was mean about James. I won’t have it.”
‘Didn’t sit right’
We all need a Ruth in our corner.
After Gavin & Stacey’s return was mooted earlier this year, there was talk of it being snapped up by Netflix.
So how close was the Corporation to losing arguably the greatest jewel in its crown?
James says: “Yeah, I think it felt like that probably was something that could have been there.
This show is a very special thing, an extraordinary thing, and I’m just really excited for people to see it
James Corden
“But I also think it would be very harsh on the place that gave us its first chance, you know?
“We did think for a moment, though not for very long, about possibly doing a film.
“And then we just thought, I don’t know if these are characters you want to see on a big screen.
“I think they are people that belong in the corner of your living room on Christmas Day.
“So, all that other stuff, the idea of taking it anywhere else, the idea of doing anything else, it didn’t sit right.
“This show is a very special thing, an extraordinary thing, and I’m just really excited for people to see it.”