There is a time and a place for most of these leadership approaches, although without a doubt “softer” skills are considered to be increasingly valuable in today’s leaders. Real power now emanates from being able to inspire, not force. With less awe for authority, people need to believe that what they are being asked to do is worthwhile before they, in turn, commit.
To sustain success over time, a leader needs to blend the various styles or flex their approach. When my colleague lost patience with me, he wanted to see a more authoritative/autocratic leader; my usual style is more affiliative/creative/democratic.
And yes, that approach is more often associated with women. The debate continues over whether there are gender differences in leadership, but in my experience – including observing other female leaders – women do tend to lead in a more inclusive way. They may place more emphasis on culture, for example, and on creating buy-in to a vision. That may mean women are less likely to be perceived as “true” leaders because many people still think of leadership qualities in masculine terms.
Can we become better leaders? Absolutely. The starting point is self-awareness, understanding where we excel and identifying blind spots, so we can play to our strengths and consciously address the gaps.
I recommend taking the CliftonStrengths finder test – you have to buy an assessment, but it can help you understand what you naturally do best and how to develop your specific talents into strengths and become a leader. As the name suggests, it is strengths-based; there are no less than 34 themes. Building on yours can make you into a real leader in a way that trying to address your weaknesses never can.
The tests suggest I am a “strategic” leader. I can “sort through the clutter and find the best route”. I am good under pressure and love challenges. I am also a “developer”; I encourage a growth mindset. And I am an “activator” – I want to press on with solving a problem.
But I am not a “deliberative” leader. I will study things I am interested in, but am vulnerable to making mistakes if I am not.
This is my blind spot. I have learned to hire colleagues who love detail. We complement each other. It’s not always easy to work alongside people who have a very different mindset – but it’s critical. I once had a senior colleague whose interventions made me inwardly groan. He would shoot down every idea. But instead of brushing his concerns aside, I learnt to explore them and establish if it was just his natural risk-averse approach or if there was a legitimate reason to abandon or go slow. I ignored him at my peril.
I am often asked if some personalities make better leaders. We have all seen children – or been them – who are “natural leaders”. I became a “Brownie Sixer” (leader of a group of Brownies, pre-Girl Guides) almost from the moment I joined the Brownies. I was seven years old.
Some people enjoy leading, while others naturally shy away, seeing themselves as less inclined or capable of leadership. But at this point in my career I really have seen all types of people succeed as leaders, with very different personalities, backgrounds and ways of working with others.
They are men and women, old and young, privileged and much less so, extroverted and introverted (yes, you can be a great and introverted leader!). They do share some key traits: they are self-aware, committed, and have an inquiring mind. But personality-wise they cover the whole gamut.
So if you want to be a leader, and a good one, remember it’s a skill that you can develop – and keep on developing throughout your life and career.