Any form of addiction can take on a life of its own and consume a person’s entire being. Dan Bateman, 34, who lives with his mother in Carlisle and works part time at a supermarket, is painfully aware of this.
Dan, a Carlisle United and Manchester United fan, started gambling as a teenager while watching football games with family and friends.
He told i: “From 2003, I’d go to Carlisle United football games and give people £1 to put bets on for me. Eventually, I won my first bet. I won about £18.50. It wasn’t a big sum, but it was an exciting feeling.”
Over time, Dan started betting weekly on football games and he slowly started to realise that he had a problem with gambling.
He said: “By my mid-twenties, I knew I had a problem, but had no idea or genuine willingness to stop. I’d bet on corners and goals during matches, as well as who I thought would win. I encouraged friends to place bets too.”
In 2019, Dan’s family came into some money and he managed to start renting a two-bedroom flat in Carlisle. He was living on his own and his gambling habit spiralled.
“After I moved into the flat and was living on my own, my gambling habit got out of control. I’d gamble at work during my breaks and gamble every night at home, sometimes at 3am in the morning.
“By this point, I wasn’t just betting on football. I’d gamble on random things like Russian basketball in the small hours of the morning. During Covid, I’d bet on virtual sports as there were no real football matches being played.”
He added: “I told myself I’d be able to pay my rent using money from any wins. I tried to justify it to myself. But the truth was that I was gambling with money I could not afford to give away or lose. I’d never buy a new T-shirt for £20, but would easily spend between £100 to £200 a night on bets.”
No day was sacred and Dan would even gamble on Christmas Day while with his family.
“We’d go to my aunt’s house and I’d go and sit on the toilet and place bets on Turkish leagues. I’d spend about £100 to £200 on betting on Christmas Day. This got worse when Boxing Day came round and live football matches were on.”
By this point, Dan would get his wages on a Friday, and they would be gone by Monday. Money for rent and utility bills would all go on gambling.
In 2019, Dan asked his mother to take control of his money. His aunt had to pay off a £500 debt for him and Dan maxed out a £1,000 limit credit card.
Even though his mother had control, Dan would convince her to give him the money. He also persuaded other loved-ones to give him money.
Dan told i: “I’d say I needed a new pair of trousers or shoes for work, even when I knew I’d just gamble the money away. Gambling consumed my life.
“I made up lies and broke a lot of people’s trust. It made me deceitful. I am ashamed to say it, but my habit made me such a good liar. I was known as a nice guy, so no one questioned me. Gambling turned me into the worst possible version of myself.”
Consumed by gambling, Dan’s love of football disappeared. He was no longer bothered which team won or lost a football match. He just wanted to know if he had won or lost the bet.
During Covid, Dan’s epilepsy worsened and he moved out of his flat and back to his family home with his mum in July 2021. The years rolled on and the gambling worsened, but April 2023 was a turning point.
On 23 April, 2023, Brighton played Manchester United in a football match. Dan convinced himself Brighton would win and placed multiple bets on the game. The game went to penalties and Brighton lost on penalties.
“The gambler in me was devastated. It was all or nothing. I knew I had a serious gambling problem. I could continue making an absolute mess of my life or change. I looked at myself in the mirror and didn’t recognise myself. If things continued down this path, I was worried I’d end up killing myself.”
Dan stayed awake all night contemplating his situation and on the morning of 24 April 2023 sat down with his mum down and told her everything.
“Mum was amazing. She told me that the family had known I had a gambling problem, but had been waiting for me to tell them everything when I was ready. I told my dad and my sister too. I told them they could disown me if they wanted, but they didn’t. They were extremely supportive.”
Dan started searching online to see how he could get help for his gambling addiction. He discovered websites like GambleAware and joined online social media platforms to share thoughts with others in a similar predicament.
Dan is now working to “wrestle back control” from his gambling addiction. He has a podcast called Be The Best Version Of Yourself, focusing on gambling and mental health.
He believes he spent around £50,000 on gambling over the years.
He said: “When I look back, I wonder what I could have spent that £50,000 on. I could have my own house by now. Instead, I became the worst version of myself and was a liar and dishonest with loved-ones.”
Dan has not gambled since April 2023 and has managed to build up a £2,000 savings pot. For a small monthly fee, he uses Gamban to block access to all gambling sites and adverts, adding he thinks the app and software helped save his life.
Sadly, Dan’s mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer out of the blue in September last year. Now he’s not gambling, Dan is happily spending money on birthday treats and afternoon tea for his mum.
While he used to watch seven or eight football matches in a single weekend, he now watches one or two. His Sundays are spent enjoying time with family rather than glued to a screen.
Dan thinks the amount of gambling adverts on TV and online is “disgraceful” and thinks they should be phased out. He thinks gambling adverts should be treated like adverts for cigarettes or alcohol.
The Uefa Euro 2024 football championship is taking place this year and Dan said that while he knows one wrong move could undo all his good work, he feels confident he’ll be able to enjoy the matches without being tempted to place a bet.
There are also charities and support groups that offer free, confidential support to people who are gambling, and their friends and family. This includes the National Gambling Helpline (run by GamCare) – call 0808 8020 133 for free 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for free information, support and counselling. There is also GambleAware – the National Gambling Support Network service.