By the time you’ve managed to bundle your groceries into the boot and strap the kids in ready to head home, putting the trolley back by the supermarket doors may occasionally slip your mind.
According to psychologist and mum Dr Leslie Dobson, though, it’s nothing you should feel guilty over – in fact, she believes trudging back to the trolley bay is to be avoided at all costs.
In a recent TikTok, Leslie told her 159,000 followers: ‘I’m not returning my shopping cart, and you can judge me all you want. I’m not getting my groceries into my car, getting my children into the car, then leaving them to go return the cart. So if you’re going to give me a dirty look… f*** off.’
As you can imagine, responses were mixed, ranging from agreement of the parent’s standpoint to straight-up insults.
One of the main things being referenced in Leslie’s comment section was the ‘shopping cart theory’.
This 4chan meme, borne out of an article in Scientific American titled ‘Why don’t people return their shopping carts?’ describes trolley etiquette as ‘the ultimate litmus test for whether a person is capable of self-governing’.
It continues: ‘To return the shopping cart is an easy, convenient task and one which we all recognise as the correct, appropriate thing to do. To return the shopping cart is objectively right… Simultaneously, it is not illegal to abandon your shopping cart. Therefore the shopping cart presents itself as the apex example of whether a person will do what is right without being forced to do it.’
Granted, it’s a little farfetched, but there is some level of truth in this. A 2008 study in the journal Science found that people were more likely to litter in supermarket car parks where trolleys were strewn around rather than placed back in their stations. This suggests people know not to deviate from the societal norm but do so when they think they’re likely to get away with it, in turn encouraging others to go against what’s expected.
A number of the 11 million people who viewed Leslie’s TikTok agreed too, including @kaitjohnson916 who said: ‘If you can’t clean up after yourself then you are not welcome in a shared space.’
‘Just pure laziness not to mention the damage it does to cars,’ added @zoebotte0, while @helloimcassandra said: ‘This is so inconsiderate on so many levels.’
Amid the criticism, some recommended Leslie have a ‘reality check’. But according to the clinical and forensic psychologist: ‘Risk isn’t worth it and our lives are precious.’
Leslie told today.com that she posted the video ‘because predators watch our patterns and routines’.
‘I wanted to give people permission to not return their carts if their intuition tells them they aren’t safe,’ she added. ‘I don’t love talking to paedophiles but if I can share how they think and how they target people, then I will take one for the team because I have the eduction and capacity to do so.’
Any parent’s concern is of course valid, and teaching your child personal safety and ‘stranger danger’ is important. Sadly, it’s not unheard for a child to fall victim to an opportunistic predator in a public setting.
But, it’s worth noting that incidents of this type are extremely rare. In the US, the FBI states that only around 0.1% of missing children are reported as having been abducted by a stranger. Additionally, NSPCC statistics show that more than 90% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone known to the child.
Kirsty Ketley, qualified Early Years and parenting specialist, tells Metro.co.uk thatthe main hazard of leaving a young child alone in a car is actually due to potential accidents that might occur.
She explains: ‘Leaving a child in a car unattended, regardless of the risk being minimal or not, is still a risk: your car getting hit by another car, your child unclipping themselves, pressing buttons, or even choking.
‘I also have personal experience of this with a family I know, whose four-year-old unclipped their one-year-old sister’s car seat from the back – so the child was strapped into the seat, but the seat wasn’t strapped into the car – and mum didn’t notice until she had driven the 20 minutes home!’
That said, Kirsty feels there is ‘no excuse’ for not still returning your cart.
‘As you would taking your child to fetch a trolley, you do the same returning it (unless you’re parked right next to a trolley bay),’ she says.
‘I would also add that it is the same in a petrol station – always take the kids out of the car to pay, if you can’t pay at the pump.’
This way, your little ones are safe in your line of vision at all times, and you won’t incur the ire of the hardworking staff at your local supermarket.
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