I ‘crop dust’ the cabin: Flight attendants make nauseating confessions

Flight attendants keep passengers safe and make sure holidaymakers are fed and watered – but sometimes the veil of professionalism drops.

A number of cabin crew members have confessed to exacting revenge on passengers who have slighted them or simply annoying those who haven’t – plus some claim they have a special way to ‘hit on’ pilots they fancy.

Some of the admissions came to light on an anonymous Reddit thread dubbed ‘flight attendant confessions’, where airline workers gave an unedited insight to their lives at 35,000ft.

One crew member, ‘elaxation’, admitted to making flights unpleasant for holidaymakers even if they’d done nothing wrong. 

The flight attendant commented: ‘Whenever I have to pass gas I take a walk down the aisle and “crop dust” the passengers. Passengers are the enemy.’

Another flight attendant on the forum decided to get their revenge after a passenger refused to put their vape away during the flight. 

While e-cigarettes and vapes can be taken into aircraft cabin they should never be charged or used at any point as a matter of law.

The crew member explained: ‘I had a passenger once in the last row of this particular aircraft who kept putting his vape on the tray table after being repeatedly told not to have it out and warned he would be written up if he continued to do so. 

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‘I guess after the fourth time he attempted to just stick it under his thigh or something. 

‘Well, it ended up falling in between the seats at some point and the aisle seat of the last row on this aircraft sticks out so that I can see under the row from my galley. So I just kneeled behind the row, swept my hand under his seat to fetch the vape, and then turned around and tossed it in the trash!’

They added: ‘Watching him scramble around looking for his vape during deplaning was glorious. He eventually walked off fuming.’

It wasn’t just getting revenge on passengers that flight attendants admitted to.

One crew member claimed that there was a cheeky technique they used to indicate to the pilots flying the plane that they fancied them.

The anonymous cabin crew said: ‘Whenever I want to hit on one of the pilots, I purposefully don’t hit the reset button for attention.’

Explaining what this means to folks on the ground, they added: ‘Whenever you contact a pilot, or another flight attendant, with the phone on your flight, they can basically hear the rest of your conversation after you hang up if you don’t hit the reset button.’

Meaning if they fancied the captain, they simply let them listen in. We wonder what they talk about when they know they are being overheard…