Saturday, November 23, 2024

How to navigate finding love over 50, as Miranda Hart gets married

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Beloved British comedian Miranda Hart, 51, received a flurry of congratulatory messages on social media this week following her appearance on The One Show, where she revealed she recently got married.

She met her partner aged 49, and her story shows that experience can often give you a better understanding of your needs and wants in a relationship.

However, dating over 50 and the pressure of finding ‘the one’ can be extremely daunting, so we have reached out to some experts for advice.

Here are their tips on how to navigate the dating scene and find love later in life…

Find someone with the same core values

Seeking a partner with similar core values will help you find a more compatible match.

“It is advantageous to have things in common when dating over 50,” says Tina Wilson, relationship expert and founder of the Wingman dating app. “But a caring and attentive partner who shares the same core values as you will override any hobby you may have in common.”

Think about what you are looking for

“Before you start dating, think about why you are doing it and what you are looking for,” says Amanda Gardiner, qualified divorce coach and founder of online community The Divorce Hive. “Do you want some short-term fun with an exciting partner, or are you looking for long-term stability with somebody who shares your values and vision?

“Be honest with yourself and then go and find what suits you now. You can always change your mind in the future.”

Go on dates that prompt nostalgia

“Go on a date to an open air cinema so you can still chat and take a picnic,” recommends Wilson. “Choose a film you both remember from being in your 20s, so you have the shared nostalgia.”

Join a new activity or club

Consider joining local activities that appeal to both men and women.

“Whether it’s a club, a class, or simply striking up conversations at your gym or favourite café, you never know where a casual chat might lead,” says Audrey Zeitoun, relationship and divorce coach at Pivot. “You could even try a sport like padel, which is becoming popular and is easy to pick up, or a dance class for an enjoyable, interactive experience.”

Maintain a positive outlook

“Try and maintain a positive outlook to navigate the ups and downs of dating,” advises Wilson. “Use your life experiences to reassure you that you will find someone when the time is right.”

Set out your non-negotiables

“It’s important to ask yourself what you’re willing to compromise for love, and what your non-negotiables are,” says Zeitoun. “One key tip is to never lower your standards.

“Once you’ve established your boundaries, stay open-minded and allow yourself to be surprised.

“You don’t need to find someone exactly like you, but rather someone who complements you.”

Trust your instincts

“Avoid wasting time and don’t brush off any red flags,” says Wilson. “Trust your instincts and if something feels off it probably is, so move onto a more compatible match.”

Ask friends for advice

“Seeking input and asking your friends for guidance and advice is crucial,” says Wilson. “Your friends know you better than anyone and sometimes they can see things we might overlook due to emotional involvement.”

See if you are financially compatible

“Sometimes problems can occur when there is an imbalance of financial status,” explains Gardiner. “Not many of us want to be propping up somebody else’s finances at this stage of life.”

Communication is key

“After the initial meeting, if you decide to continue seeing each other, remember the importance of communication,” advises Zeitoun. “Be clear, speak up, and don’t make assumptions about the other person’s thoughts or actions.

“By this stage in life, you’ve earned the freedom to talk about anything openly, including intimacy and sex.”

Avoid oversharing

One of the biggest things to avoid is oversharing too soon.

“Take your time during the first few dates. Enjoy getting to know each other without diving into your full life story right away,” recommends Zeitoun. “Ask meaningful questions to spot any potential red flags, but keep a bit of mystery at the start.”

Talk about what you want in the future

“Consider how you want to live the rest of your life,” says Gardiner. “Do you want to retire early and travel the world or are you more a work until you drop type person? Unless you are on similar trajectories regarding the future, it’s unlikely to work.”

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