Fashion Icon and Philanthropist Barbara Tober Honored At Met Opera

If anyone changed fashion, it has to be Barbara Tober. You might not know her name right off the bat, but she was working quietly behind the scenes.

Tober has had a long and successful career in the fashion industry, including being the editor in chief of Brides magazine for 30 years, from 1966 to 1995. Tober not only makes for a brilliant interview, but a noted philanthropist of the arts.

On May 20, she was honored at a dazzling event called “On Stage At The Met Honoring Barbara Tober” at the Metropolitan Opera House. This black tie bash had it all—high fashion, gowns, cocktails, dinner, and dancing.

“To be honored at something like this, my goodness,” she said. “It’s completely overwhelming.”

Tober, who turned 90 on August 19, was dressed in a sparkling Valentino dress, and guests were treated to some stellar performances from some of the Met’s opera stars, including SeokJong Baek, Anthony Roth Costanza, Ryan Speedo Green, Clementine Margaine, Ailyn Perez, and more.

Notable guests included Peter Gelb, Peter Marino, Michael Bloomberg, Deborah Borda, Gigi and Harry Benson, Noreen and Ken Buckfire, Anges and Oscar Tang, Judy and Leonard Lauder, Elizabeth Segerstrom, Daisy Soros, Henry Timms, Ann Ziff, Sylvia Hemingway, Patrick McMullan, and Bob Colacello, among others.

When it comes to fashion, she says the media landscape has changed. Today, it has a wider audience and a more individualistic approach to fashion. “There are less rules,” she says.

Her favorite designers include Maison Margiela and Valentino. She also has a love for jewelry, particularly pieces by John Landrum Bryant.

Tober also has passion for anthropology and believes it has had a significant impact on her career and understanding of how people live—and marry. “We got rid of a lot of rules at Brides magazine,” she said. “So now, you read in The New York Times about these different weddings and how everybody handles them their way. The young people are figuring out what they want to do. And, you know, they’re a little older.”

Tober says weddings have evolved over the decades, and couples have started to have more involvement in planning and paying for their weddings. She notes the rise of reenactment weddings and the introduction of new designers and styles in wedding dresses.

“We just changed the way America married,” she said of her time at Brides.

One thing has helped her understand wedding culture. “Anthropology to me is terribly important,” she said. “You really learn what people think and how they live. It makes you understand how people think, move, and grow, all around the world. And there’s a lot of similarities everywhere.”

When she first started at Brides, it was a different time. She recalls getting a phone call from two freelance photographers based in Italy, shortly before she became editor in chief. “This is 1961,” she said. “And it’s after World War II and Italy was broke.”

She explains that the two photographers asked if she wanted to have brides photographed in Italian churches. “I said, yes, I would,” she recalls. “So they said, we’ll do it for a ridiculously low price.” She flew to Italy and made it happen.

“We had a bus taking our wedding dresses around town. And it was so wonderfully romantic and young and, and you know, naive. It was lovely. And we photographed all these brides in the churches of Verona, Italy. It was a great memory.”