Photo: Stephanie Branchu/Netflix
We are still dealing with Gabriel’s never-ending drama and the search for a pastry chef. The latest hire is just doing that old TikTok bit where things look like other objects but are actually cake or chocolate. They only have the pastry chef at the behest of Marianne, the Michelin star reviewer, who has been there three times and makes Emily pick up the check. This should have been one of their first signs that something was awry (seems pretty unprofessional to me!), but everyone here is absolutely clueless, so it passes without much comment.
Mindy’s friend Leigh, whose accent is very this week: a hot new bombshell enters the villa, is here from London to launch a skin-care line, and she wants to use a French marketing agency. Before we spend too much time on that side plot, I just want to say this: If Netflix insists on breaking these seasons into two parts just to (I assume) milk more media coverage out of a show that would otherwise come and go in a weekend, the least it could do is try to make that make sense creatively, rather than just have some arbitrary “be back later!!!” feeling at the end of what is technically a mid-season finale. In our case, alas, the emphasis is on mid: This episode is totally average, and we spend a not-insignificant amount of time on a client-of-the-week bit with Leigh, which would be fine at another point in the season but hardly seems like the right use of real estate here, in an episode that should be about payoffs that have been building for the past four episodes and/or tension for what’s to come in the back half of the season next month.
Speaking of tension: Are we surprised Camille and Sofia aren’t getting along? Sofia basically only came to Paris because she thought Camille was missing and/or dead. She did not come to Paris to give up her cool, independent life to help Camille raise Gabriel’s baby. It will take the entire episode for this to play out the way you know it will, and first we will have to suffer through several drawn-out arguments over Symbolically Meaningful Objects (art studio vs. nursery; rocking horse vs. easel). Also, Gabriel is letting Camille keep his grandmother’s engagement ring because they will be a family. Ordinarily, I would say this is a sweet gesture, but I sure do wonder how his girlfriend might feel about that. Camille’s girlfriend certainly wouldn’t be pleased!
Somehow, Sylvie can’t get herself a great dinner restaurant reservation without Luc’s help. I find this hard to believe! But she implores him to rely on Marianne for this favor, and Marianne, in turn, convinces Luc that it’s a good idea to use the dinner to coerce Sylvie into giving him a raise.
I fear that Emily’s stupidity is spreading osmotically through the office, contaminating everyone with whom she works, including my beloved Sylvie. Mindy’s friend arrives, with Mindy in tow as a model, to show off her product. Her product looks terrible. And later, we will find out that her product is literally just lube, repackaged as a moisturizer (?!), and that this was incredibly knowable information because Leigh pitched it on a television show, Fox’s Lair, the (fake) French equivalent of Shark Tank. Using the same name and everything! And it wasn’t even that long ago!! Did no one at Agence Grateau even bother to Google this person? They do literally zero research before signing a new client?? And I am supposed to be rooting for them?! None of this matters because, in this world, nothing matters. The product is a success.
At the restaurant — L’Ambroisie, a real place where it is, based on my skim of its booking calendar just now, genuinely impossible to get a reservation; points for verisimilitude — Sylvie and Laurent discover they’re at a table for FOUR. This is NOT what Sylvie wore that amazing jumpsuit for! (The open back? Stunning!) Laurent is a very good sport about the whole thing, especially considering the dinner is for him. In a shocking twist, they seem to have a great time! That is, until Luc demands a raise right after Marianne insists on treating them all to dinner. Then Marianne threatens the waiter into comping their meal — at which point, a man, who is actually a Michelin inspector, interrupts to say that Marianne is a FRAUD. Sylvie saves everyone from further mortification by picking up the check.
Because no one in this world is ever held accountable for their deranged behavior, Luc tells Marianne he still wants to be with her. Apparently, she just works for the phone company. I mean, sure, good luck to those crazy kids.
You know who else looks pretty great? Emily! I like her studded turtleneck dress and her hairpin-wispy-updo situation. I feel like we get a little well-dressed Emily every so often just to keep us from giving up on her entirely. Gabriel takes Emily to his favorite late-night chef hang, where they play Biscuit and everyone gossips about how Gabriel is going to get that Michelin star. He expects the star will completely change his life. Someone needs to read up on arrival fallacy!
Back at the apartment, Sofia has packed her bags to tell Camille what we have known this entire time: She did not come here for this and she wants to go back to Athens. It’s a pretty mature breakup as breakups go. I do wonder about everyone’s financial situation. Can Camille afford to live in this apartment by herself?
Later that night, Gabriel takes Emily to the oldest bridge in the city. It’s been a while since we’ve had our share of “Wow, Paris is so beautiful!!!” moments. Used to be there was a one-per-episode quota. Is this … growth? Anyway, Gabriel tells Emily he loves her. She says she loves him too. It’s a very nice kiss. Do I buy that they love each other? Not really, but the important thing is that Camille, who can see them through the window, absolutely does. For some reason, they end their night on the street even though Gabriel finally lives alone because Camille and Sofia have moved out, as Emily and Gabriel were allegedly desperate for them to do. So now that they can finally spend the night together in peace, they just … don’t. HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE?
The next day, Sylvie says she’s worried that Emily is rubbing off on her. I’m worried, too! Emily finds out that Marianne isn’t a real Michelin inspector. Camille goes to the doctor’s office to explain her whole conundrum. I write in my notes, “Wait, she hasn’t been to a doctor yet?!?” At this point, we discover that CAMILLE IS NOT PREGNANT.
Apparently, she never was! Her test was a false positive! I cannot believe Camille rearranged her entire fucking life without even going to a doctor first?!?? Girl, you have universal health care; use it! Also, sorry, but as much as I find pregnancy plots annoying (that is, when pregnancy is used as the only thing that could possibly make a female character’s life change/be interesting/have stakes), I find “oops, actually, we’re NOT pregnant” plots even more annoying. Honestly, it feels like, after not having a more character-driven idea for what could make Camille and Gabriel more committed to each other, they did not have the guts to just have Camille choose to end her pregnancy, but also they didn’t want to deal with what a baby would do to the show, so they just called backsies (to use a technical term).
For everyone keeping track at home: Between this and the Michelin star, all of the important stakes that were introduced at the end of the last season have been wiped away. Really makes you want to get invested in whatever they’re going to do next!
Gabriel takes the Michelin star news surprisingly well. He’d been cracking under the pressure. He fires the pastry chef with genuine passion. It is hotter than anything he has ever done with or said to Emily. Camille, realizing that the baby is what’s keeping Gabriel so nice and close to her, does not disclose that there is no baby at all. Will Camille try to get pregnant, I wonder? Or will she see reason and abscond to Athens to have a good time far from Emily’s annoying intrusions?