HERE’S something that will make you laugh . . . the best gag from the Edinburgh Fringe festival is actually funny.
After last year’s award winners were panned, comedian Mark Simmons won with: “I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship . . . but I bottled it.”
Nearly half of the 2,000 people who took part in the annual survey of Edinburgh one-liners said Mark’s joke made them laugh the most.
TV company U&Dave, which runs the annual awards, chose 15 gags from the 3,334 shows on at the Fringe.
Six of the winners were women, including Chelsea Birkby, in seventh place.
Overall winner Mark has TWO gags in the top 15.
He came fifth with a topical take on the Olympics.
Last year the best Fringe jokes list was panned for being too woke and unfunny after Lorna Rose Treen won with: “I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.”
Here are this year’s top gags to give you a giggle . . .
I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship . . . but I bottled it – Mark Simmons
I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward, two steps back – Alec Snook
Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful – Alex Kitson
I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it – Arthur Smith
I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton. Well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it – Mark Simmons
My dad used to say to me “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes – Olaf Falafel
British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons? – Chelsea Birkby
I wanted to know which came first, the chicken or the egg, so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I’ve cracked it – Masai Graham
My partner told me she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had – Zoë Coombs Marr
The conspiracy theory that the moon is made of cheese was started by the hallouminati – Olaf Falafel
I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person. My pronouns are “there there” – Sarah Keyworth
I’ve got a girlfriend who never stops whining. I wish I’d never bought her that vineyard – Roger Swift
Gay people are very bad at maths. We don’t naturally multiply – Lou Wall
Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher – Sophie Duker
Growing up rich is a hereditary condition. It affects one per cent of people – Olga Koch