COMIC Chris McCausland is to deliver Channel 4’s Alternative Christmas Message and call for an end to discrimination against disabled people.
The TV star this month became the first blind contestant to win Strictly Come Dancing.
In his Christmas Day speech, he will say that disabled people are “often some of the most resilient, creative and determined people you will ever likely meet”.
The comic will begin by apologising to viewers for being caught “with a mouthful of mince pie”, before using his love for the festive treat as a metaphor for equality.
“I don’t care if they’re the posh ones or the cheap ones, I don’t care if they’re the big ones or those tiny little dinky ones, whether it’s got a solid top or a lattice crown,” he says.
“I will never discriminate against any sort of mince pie.
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“All of them are equal to me and will no doubt meet the same undignified end as I try and fit it all in my mouth in one go.”
He will add: “Discrimination is never a good thing.
“Well, I mean sometimes I suppose. Many, many years ago before I got into comedy, I applied to be a spy for MI5.
“I got down to the last 30 out of 3,000 applicants.
“The top 1% of potential spies that this country had to offer before they decided no, a blind spy wasn’t what they were looking for but, you know, I think they had a point.
“I think sometimes discrimination can be vital for the safety of the nation but usually, we can do better.”