Friday, November 22, 2024

Rachel Stevens’ ex-husband Alex Bourne opens up on their ‘terrifying’ split for the first time

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 Rachel Stevens’ ex-husband Alex Bourne has opened-up for the first time about his ‘terrifying’ split from the singer.

The S Club star, 46, announced she had separated from her childhood sweetheart, 47, in July 2022, just one month shy of their 13-year anniversary.

And breaking his silence on their split, Alex admitted that he struggled during the early stages of their separation, especially navigating co-parenting.

But the former actor insisted that he and Rachel are now on good terms, having moved on with new partners, who their two daughters, Amelie, 12, and Minnie, nine, ‘adore’.

Rachel has found love with Dancing On Ice skater Brendyn Hatfield, going official in November after first being paired together on the ITV show and striking up a friendship in early 2022.

Rachel Stevens’ ex-husband Alex Bourne has opened-up for the first time about his ‘terrifying’ split from the singer

The S Club star, 46, announced she had separated from her childhood sweetheart, 47, in July 2022, just one month shy of their 13-year anniversary (pictured in 2011)

The S Club star, 46, announced she had separated from her childhood sweetheart, 47, in July 2022, just one month shy of their 13-year anniversary (pictured in 2011)

And breaking his silence on their split, Alex admitted that he struggled during the early stages of their separation, especially navigating co-parenting daughters, Amelie, 12, and Minnie, nine (pictured in 2011)

And breaking his silence on their split, Alex admitted that he struggled during the early stages of their separation, especially navigating co-parenting daughters, Amelie, 12, and Minnie, nine (pictured in 2011)

Alex explained: ‘It was terrifying at the start and it’s not easy – and maybe I am making it all happy families – but we’ve handled it really well. I guess we are a blended family and I’m totally cool with it. 

‘I’m happily in a relationship and have a supportive partner, who my kids absolutely adore. Both myself and my ex-wife are in happy relationships and we are very supportive of each other. 

‘My children are such kind, loving people, who I am very proud of, so they made it easy to introduce them. They really, genuinely want us to be happy and we are.’

The estate agent added that the former couple had worked to ‘avoid animosity’ with introducing their new partners.

He said: ‘We were very grown up about the whole introducing partners thing. Everything has been handled with a lot of sensitivity and respect and that avoids animosity and unhappiness.

‘Our children are everything and all we want is for them to be happy.’

Alex also gushed about his new girlfriend and confessed that he would like to get married again one day.

He said: ‘I’m very grateful for what I have in life. My new partner is a wonderful person and she works in art. She’s a beautiful person inside and out.

Rachel has found love with Dancing On Ice skater Brendyn Hatfield, going official in November after first being paired together on the ITV show and striking up a friendship in early 2022

Rachel has found love with Dancing On Ice skater Brendyn Hatfield, going official in November after first being paired together on the ITV show and striking up a friendship in early 2022 

But the former actor insisted that he and Rachel are now on good terms, having moved on with new partners, who their two daughters, Amelie, 12, and Minnie, nine, 'adore'

But the former actor insisted that he and Rachel are now on good terms, having moved on with new partners, who their two daughters, Amelie, 12, and Minnie, nine, ‘adore’

‘I’m a very open-hearted person and I think love is an amazing thing. I’ve got a wonderful partner and incredible family and a business that I’m proud of.

‘Why not get remarried one day? I’m a romantic and a passionate person and I think life is about loving.’

Alex’s candidness comes a week after Rachel lifted the lid on their separation during an appearance on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour on Thursday, comparing it to ‘jumping off a cliff.’

She admitted: ‘It’s a lot of navigating, especially with the girls because they’ve always been at the forefront.

‘I’m very lucky, their dad is a great dad and we’ve always been so aligned with keeping them really safe in it and being really honest. 

‘We’ve had great advice on how to age-appropriately speak to them and help them feel safe in it all, because that was my biggest fear – how they are going to be in all of this.’

She continued: ‘You’re changing your life. It’s not only a marriage it’s a family around it, it’s your friendship groups, your home, your children.

‘Changing your whole life, for me it felt like jumping off a cliff, like wow, it’s the unknown. 

Alex's candidness comes a week after Rachel lifted the lid on their separation during an appearance on BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour on Thursday, comparing it to 'jumping off a cliff' (pictured last week)

Alex’s candidness comes a week after Rachel lifted the lid on their separation during an appearance on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour on Thursday, comparing it to ‘jumping off a cliff’ (pictured last week)

‘But I’ve always believed that we have to be happy, we have to be true to ourselves and it’s not something you decide overnight, it’s something that takes so much thought and questioning.

‘I haven’t talked about it a lot publicly because I’m so mindful of everyone involved.’

The former couple were childhood sweethearts and reconnected in the mid-2000s when Rachel was launching her solo career and Alex was still trying to make it as an actor in Los Angeles

They got engaged in June 2008 after 18 months of dating and tied the knot at Claridge’s in London the following year.

The pair walked down the aisle to S Club 7’s hit Never Had A Dream Come True and her bandmates – Bradley McIntoshHannah SpearrittJo O’Meara, Jon Lee, Paul Cattermole and Tina Barrett – were there to watch them say ‘I do’.

Discussing her new relationship with Brendyn, Rachel went on:  ‘We’ve just been really mindful and thoughtful of everyone involved and it was a very slow process, but when you go through growth in your life, you change and your outlook on life changes. 

‘You realise this is what I need, this is what I want, this is what I deserve. And everything is new and it all just kind of happens.’

She added: ‘It all just evolves and it’s not black and white, it’s just an amazing growth experience.’

The former couple were childhood sweethearts and reconnected in the mid-2000s when Rachel was launching her solo career and Alex was still trying to make it as an actor in Los Angeles (pictured in 2009)

The former couple were childhood sweethearts and reconnected in the mid-2000s when Rachel was launching her solo career and Alex was still trying to make it as an actor in Los Angeles (pictured in 2009)

Earlier this month, Rachel revealed how falling for Brendyn led to her ‘messy’ split from Alex, with their marriage already on the rocks.

Speaking to The Sun she admitted: ‘[The split] was messy. I knew that we were growing, that I was growing apart, but I was in turmoil, because first of all my kids’.

Rachel went on to recall how she felt telling now ex-husband Alex about Brendyn admitting: ‘It was really scary, because I knew as soon as I said that, that was it.’

Alex revealed that he suffered from the debilitating hair loss condition alopecia throughout their marriage, which left his confidence at rock bottom and unable to look at himself in the mirror.

He added that he made the decision to quit pursuing an acting career so he could be a ‘provider’ for his family.

Asked if he feared being in his wife’s shadow, Alex said: ‘The answer is no. There was no pressure. It’s just where I found myself.

‘The reason why I decided to stop acting at the time was because I wanted more security and control over what I was doing. I didn’t like waiting for the next job. I did loads of things to facilitate my acting.

‘I was a charity chugger, raising money for charity. I was a singing barman near St Johns Wood in north London at one point. Being a massage therapist was great and I loved all of those jobs.

Earlier this month, Rachel revealed how falling for Brendyn led to her 'messy' split from Alex, with their marriage already on the rocks (pictured on the show in February 2022)

Earlier this month, Rachel revealed how falling for Brendyn led to her ‘messy’ split from Alex, with their marriage already on the rocks (pictured on the show in February 2022)

‘But I wanted to start a family. I’m from a traditional family and I wanted to provide and be a provider. I fell in love and for the first time in my life, I wanted to support someone else and not be selfish. 

‘It’s the same thing as having kids. I wanted to create a lifestyle and I did that. I was looking at sources of income and I knew so many people in property that it was an easy transition.

‘My business partner Richard [Douglas], who I met at drama school, had given up acting and was doing extremely well at a company.

‘He said to me, “If you want, you can come and do this as a proper career.” I was going to LA to give it one last hurrah as an actor and then I fell in love and I thought, I just want to provide, I just want to make money.’

Alex added: ‘You go through a lot of guilt and think, I’ve given my whole life to this, am I quitting too soon? I have such a supportive family and I felt like I was letting other people down.

‘Then, quite suddenly after I quit acting and about a year into my marriage, my hair fell out. I first had alopecia when I was about 17, but I had steroid injections to help it grow back and it seemed fine for about 10 years.

‘The second time it came the hair on my eyebrows and beard started falling out and it was scary.

‘I lost a huge amount of confidence because I was quite a good-looking guy and my career had been around my looks. 

Alex revealed that he suffered from the debilitating hair loss condition alopecia throughout their marriage, which left his confidence at rock bottom and unable to look at himself in the mirror (pictured together in 2017)

Alex revealed that he suffered from the debilitating hair loss condition alopecia throughout their marriage, which left his confidence at rock bottom and unable to look at himself in the mirror (pictured together in 2017)

He added that he made the decision to quit pursuing an acting career so he could be a 'provider' for his family (pictured together in 2018)

He added that he made the decision to quit pursuing an acting career so he could be a ‘provider’ for his family (pictured together in 2018)

‘I was dark and swarthy looking when I was an actor. People thought I was Italian or French or Mediterranean. I had thick eyebrows and a thick beard and I was really dark.

‘I had an endoscopy and it was discovered I’m a celiac and extremely allergic to gluten. So for years I’d been eating stuff and not realising I had been killing my immune system. My immune system was finished, in a really bad state, so everything fell out.’

He confessed: ‘I felt robbed, losing my hair. It wasn’t natural. It knocked so much confidence out of me. I didn’t like to look at myself in the mirror – I didn’t recognise myself.’

As a result, three years ago, as his marriage was dissolving, Alex jetted to Istanbul, Turkey to have a hair transplant. 

It was in July 2022 that Rachel announced on Instagram that she had split from her husband of 12 years.

Insisting they would be keeping things amicable, she wrote: ‘I just wanted to share with you all that after time and consideration, the difficult decision has been made for Alex and I to separate.

‘While we are no longer partners in marriage, we will remain partners in parenthood to our beautiful girls and continue with love and respect for each other.

‘I feel so incredibly grateful for the life we built together and will now continue to be focused on moving forward united as a family.’

It was in July 2022 that Rachel announced on Instagram that she had split from her husband of 12 years

It was in July 2022 that Rachel announced on Instagram that she had split from her husband of 12 years 

The pair now split custody over their daughters, but Alex said he believed ‘co-parenting’ is a term that should apply to all mums and dads whether they are separated or not.

He said: ‘I’m not in a relationship with my ex-partner, but even if you are married to someone you are still co-parenting.

‘I’m actually extremely proud of the way we co-parent. My kids really know they are loved. Listening and understanding is key and supporting each other.

‘In any relationship, whether you are together or not, backing each other up and having one clear voice is important.

‘Not to undermine each other is really difficult, but it’s important. Kids need boundaries and if they haven’t got that they don’t feel safe – so it gives them security if you’re not on the same page.

‘Ultimately, we’ve got the same goal which is to teach our children and give them boundaries. It’s never easy but no relationships are easy. I have arguments with Richard, my business partner, all the time and it’s healthy.

‘You’re not always going to agree but as long as you find common ground it’s OK. I think we’ve done a brilliant job of co-parenting so far, but we are only 13 years in, so let’s see.’

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