Thursday, September 19, 2024

Dear Richard Madeley: My husband vapes constantly and I absolutely hate it

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Dear Richard,

My husband used to smoke but not heavily: about five cigarettes a day, never indoors and never in the car – only after meals or while out socialising. After being diagnosed with high blood pressure, he gave up 10 years ago with the help of medication to stop. For five years he didn’t smoke at all, which was bliss for me as a lifelong non-smoker.

Then vaping arrived and he saw a possibility of getting his nicotine hit with (supposedly) none of the health risks. He now vapes constantly – his bright blue vape is almost permanently attached to his hand – as he drives one-handed, vaping, he vapes at the table and while we are watching television together, and I am permanently in a sickly cloud of steam. I absolutely hate it. He has now developed a dry cough, and his blood pressure has increased.

I have given him articles about the risks of vaping but he ignores them, and any requests to stop, or at least not do it indoors or in the car for my health, are met with anger. We have no friends or family who smoke or vape, and it is embarrassing when we go out and he vapes even in their houses, or is reprimanded for doing so in public places. 

I hate this so much – and I worry about his health – but what can I do given he’s an adult and the official line is that it’s harmless, or less harmful than smoking, anyway?

— Anon, Warks

Dear Anon

Well, let’s start with the positive here. He could have reverted to smoking ciggies, couldn’t he? Lots of ex-smokers relapse, even after years. I know I did, in my own nicotine-addicted days. So at least your house and car aren’t swirling with tobacco smoke or sprinkled with ash. That’s something to be grateful for.

The problem with vaping is that we still don’t have a clear idea of what the dangers might be. But a worrying picture is certainly emerging. Far from being risk-free (as it was optimistically trumpeted only a few years ago), it turns out that vaping – particularly frequent vaping – is anything but vapes deliver nicotine, and nicotine is incredibly addictive. Your husband seems well and truly hooked. The issue is that some e-cigarettes also deliver a range of dangerous chemicals, including acetaldehyde, acrolein and formaldehyde, which can cause lung and cardiovascular disease. I wouldn’t want that stuff going down into my lungs and across into my bloodstream.

But then I’m no longer addicted to nicotine; your husband is firmly in its grip. It’s going to take more than scowls from you or scare stories from me (I presume you’ll show him this letter) to make him stop. That needs a plan of action. I can suggest two. One is to gradually reduce the amount of nicotine in his e-liquid (it sounds like he’s using a refillable device, so this is perfectly possible), and at the same time slowly extend the periods between vaping. It would help if the two of you could identify triggers that have him reaching for his vape, and make a plan to distract him when cravings strike.

 Or he could switch to a nicotine mouth spray such as Nicorette QuickMist, which claims to offer immediate relief from cravings; or else try old-fashioned nicotine chewing gum. Either way he’ll get his nicotine hits without sucking a chemical cocktail into his lungs.

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