Jennifer Lopez Says She’s ‘Excited’ to Be on Her Own After Ben Affleck Split: ‘I’m Not Looking for Anybody’

Jennifer Lopez is opening up about her personal journey.

In a new conversation with Interview magazine published Wednesday, Oct. 9, the star spoke with comedian Nikki Glaser about a range of meaningful topics, including her upcoming film Unstoppable and what she has learned while navigating a difficult, but ultimately illuminating, year.

“It’s a lifelong process,” said Lopez, 55, of her ongoing quest for self-understanding and discovery through life’s ups and downs during the interview, which was conducted Sept, 10. “I think that’s what I love about life: that there’s no arrival point. There’s only getting better and growing if you want to. It’s either growing or dying, and I don’t want to do the dying part.”

“And yeah, there’s times when I thought I figured it out, and then life goes, ‘Let’s send you another thing and see if you fall for it. Let’s see if you really have learned that lesson.’ And I hadn’t,” she continued.

As for her dating life, Lopez, who filed for divorce from Ben Affleck on Aug. 20, added, “Now I’m excited, when you say you’re just going to be on your own. Yes, I’m not looking for anybody, because everything that I’ve done over the past 25, 30 years, being in these different challenging situations, what can I f—ing do when it’s just me flying on my own … what if I’m just free?”

One very bright spot and source of pride for the actress-singer-producer was sharing her new movie Unstoppable last month at the Toronto International Film Festival, where the film earned a standing ovation from the crowd.

“I felt really good,” she said of attending the high-profile premiere at TIFF on Sept. 7. “The movie’s really beautiful … I got to see it all done for the first time with the audience in Toronto, and people loved it and really responded to the emotion of the movie. It’s one of those great inspirational stories that I think the world needs right now.”

In the real-life biopic, Lopez plays Judy Robles, the mother of Anthony Robles (Jharrel Jerome). Anthony was born with one leg and became an accomplished wrestler who went on to win an NCAA national championship. The film was produced by Affleck, 52, and Matt Damon‘s production company Artists Equity. 

During the wide-ranging interview with Glaser, 40, Lopez also touched more on learning how to “be good on your own.”

She acknowledged to Glaser she thought she previously understood that, but came to realize she had some more work to do: “The work is figuring yourself out. It’s looking back at the feelings underneath and the belief systems that we have about ourselves that make us make certain choices and create certain patterns in our life.”

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“And so, when you get to a point where you think that you’ve learned the lessons, and then it blows up in your face again, you realize, ‘Okay, I haven’t, so what is it that I need to look at right now?’ I would say, never stop looking inward, because it’s so easy to blame everybody else,” Lopez continued.

She added, “But you have to be healthy. You have to be complete, if you want something that’s more complete. You have to be good on your own. I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to be like, ‘I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that.’ ”

When Glaser asked if that was hard, Lopez didn’t miss a beat. “It was “f—ing hard!” she allowed.

“It feels lonely, unfamiliar, scary,” she added. “It feels sad. It feels desperate. But when you sit in those feelings and go, ‘These things are not going to kill me,’ it’s like actually, I am capable of joy and happiness all by myself… Being in a relationship doesn’t define me.”

During the summer, Lopez spent a stretch of time in the Hamptons with friends and family, while Affleck remained in Los Angeles.

Even after Lopez filed for divorce, the two have seemingly remained on amicable terms. On Sept. 14, they reunited for a friendly lunch with four of their five kids: Lopez’s 16-year-old twins Max and Emme, and Affleck’s children Seraphina, 15, and Samuel, 12.

Lopez shares her twins with ex-husband Marc Anthony, while the Oscar winner shares Seraphina, Samuel and Violet, 18, with ex-wife Jennifer Garner. 

“They want to show the kids that things are amicable,” a source close to the actress previously told PEOPLE. “They want to stay friendly. There’s still a lot of love.”

They will “continue to focus on the kids” but “are still moving forward with the divorce,” the insider told PEOPLE.

Unstoppable will be in theaters beginning Dec. 6.