In her memoir of her life as a diamond thief, Joan Hannington writes: “The moral of the story is, whatever life throws at you, whatever your background, class, race or religion, if you want to succeed, you can.” But morality and criminality are uneasy bedfellows, and this is one of the problems with Joan (ITV1), an 1980s-set dramatisation of Hannington’s book starring Sophie Turner in the title role.
Joan is not having an easy time when we first meet her. She had a miserable childhood. She’s in a relationship with an abusive crook. Homeless and jobless, she reluctantly places her young daughter in care. But almost immediately we see that she isn’t one of life’s innocents. Needing a car to visit her daughter, she steals one. Seeing an ad for an assistant in a jewellery shop, she cons her way into the role. Once in the job, she steals a some diamonds by swallowing them.
Then Joan meets Boisie (Frank Dillane), a shady antiques dealer, and soon they’re partners in crime. The stakes get higher. A couple of episodes in – all six are available as a boxset – and she has progressed from nicking the odd jewel and shopping with stolen chequebooks to dealing with the IRA.
We’re supposed to be rooting for Joan, but she’s an increasingly unsympathetic character as the series wears on. The show soon drops the pretence that she’s doing this so that she can make enough money to get settled and win her daughter back. Really, she just wants the good life – the money for cars and holidays and designer dresses. Joan is bright, studying gemology and using her gift for mimicry to take on different personas as part of her frauds. She could have put that to good use, but early on she tells Boisie: “I never buy what I can steal.”
The drama can’t argue that all her crimes are victimless because in a later episode – which involves Joan conning her way into a house to steal a painting – her accomplice threatens a man at gunpoint then beats him up. Joan is mildly annoyed about this for around 30 seconds, then moves on.
All the above might be almost forgivable if the drama itself was a cracker. Last year’s BBC series The Gold occupied similarly murky moral territory, but was lifted by good storytelling and dynamic directing. Joan just plods along with nothing to lift it. Sex scenes are also thrown in at regular intervals, yet, as well, they lack sizzle.
Turner does her best, and looks striking in the fashions. But even the period stylings feel half-baked.
Joan is on ITV1 at 9pm on Sunday 29 September; all episodes on ITVX now