Lauryn Goodman has taken a cryptic swipe at Kyle Walker on Sunday as she admitted that her ‘light has been dimmed’.
The TV personality, 33, has been involved in an ongoing feud with the England footballer, who she shares two children with, since their 2019 feud was brought to light.
Now Lauryn has said she is ‘struggling’ being back on the dating scene and is finding appearing on Celebs Go Dating quite ’emotional’ as she attempts to find love again.
She admitted she needs to try to ‘heal’ to allow herself to date properly again but her ‘confidence has really been knocked’.
Speaking to The Sun, Lauryn said: ‘I am at a point where I took a step back and had a look at the situation and thought: “Wow, my confidence has really been knocked here.”
Lauryn Goodman has taken a cryptic swipe at Kyle Walker on Sunday as she admitted that her ‘light has been dimmed’
The TV personality, 33, has been involved in an ongoing feud with the England footballer, who she shares two children with, since their 2019 feud was brought to light
‘And I am actually not as comfortable in these environments as I thought I would be. I used to be a very confident and outspoken loud person, but I have said to the agents: “I have felt like my light has dimmed with everything I have been through in my private life.”
‘When you feel like someone is constantly bringing you down it makes you feel not great about yourself…then it is hard to pull yourself back up. In that environment I became quite emotional, for me… I am finding some of the process hard and quite tough.’
The mother-of-two went on to reveal the Channel 4 show has ‘accelerated’ her healing which has been an ’emotional journey’.
Last week, Lauryn launched a podcast with friend Lisa Andrews – who had a love child with married boxer Nigel Benn 27 years ago.
In the podcast, titled Yours Sincerely and sponsored by a Turkish restaurant in north London, Goodman warns former lover Kyle Walker that she will tell their children ‘what he has done to them.’
She says: ‘I will be like, “Your dad didn’t want to give us astroturf, your dad didn’t want us to have air con.” It’s just like straight up answer to the questions. I asked, it was a no.’
She complained that the courts had only allowed her to get their children a ‘similar’ standard of living to his four sons with wife Annie Kilner
‘They can’t get treated equally, only the dad can do that for them,’ she said. ‘The court will just get you similar.’
Now Lauryn has said she is ‘struggling’ being back on the dating scene and is finding appearing on Celebs Go Dating quite ’emotional’ as she attempts to find love again
She admitted she needs to try to ‘heal’ to allow herself to date properly again but her ‘confidence has really been knocked’
Lauryn said: ‘I am at apoint where I took a step back and had a look at the situation and thought: ‘Wow, my confidence has really been knocked here.’
Of the £2.4 million house in Sussex which she chose and which the footballer bought for her to live in with their children she complained: ‘It’s like a greenhouse, there is so much glass.
‘Kairo and Kekes they are sweating. They have fans, but I have the blinds shut all day. You can’t cool down the house. It’s mental.’
Andrews, who gave birth to son Harley four days before Benn’s wife Carolyne had his twins following IVF treatment, joked: ‘It’s Betty Swollocks in here isn’t it?’ adding: ‘Actually make that Featy Swanny.’
Lauryn countered: ‘Don’t talk about my fanny, you will get people excited.’
Goodman was given the equivalent of a £150,000 a year salary after a court hearing in which the judge accused her of treating the Man City defender as an ‘open ended cheque-book.’
She asked for £31,000 for AstroTurf and £33,000 for air conditioning in the house, which Walker complained he didn’t have at his home in Cheshire. He does have astroturf at his home.
The podcast marks a continuation of hostilities between Goodman and Walker.
Walker is now living back in the marital home with wife Annie and their four children and they are working on their relationship. By agreement with Annie, he only has contact with Lauryn through solicitors.
Last week Lauryn launched a podcast with friend Lisa Andrews – who had a love child with married boxer Nigel Benn 27 years ago
Lauryn complained that the courts had only allowed her to get their children a ‘similar’ standard of living to his four sons with wife Annie Kilner (pictured with Walker)
A source said of the latest action: ‘Annie and Kyle will not react. They are taking legal advice about what their next steps might be to protect their children.’
They have sons Roman, Riaan, Reign and Rezon and are thought to be considering filing a complaint about harassment against Goodman.
She had son Kairo after a fling with the footballer, who was married but separated at the time, and had daughter Kinara, known as Keke, when they resumed contact later.
Walker has always said that there was never a relationship between them and Goodman, 34, said on Celebs Go Dating that she had been shocked to be pregnant. However today she says that both children were ‘wanted.’
In the podcast she talks about her decision to announce that Kyle was the father of Kinara to his wife Annie, which she did in December last year, by text message.
She said: ‘Making the decision I did in December I knew this would be the domino effect. There was this whole PR campaign, a smear campaign against me and I was prepared for the cutting of the ties but I couldn’t take it any more I was ill.
‘You could see my ribs. I was having panic attacks it was so bad. I remember thinking if I didn’t have these children I wouldn’t be here… get me out of this.’
She said that she wasn’t the gold digger which people claimed she was.
‘I like the simple things with my children, the memories for me are a huge thing. Its not this whole lavish lifestyle that everyone makes out.’
She did concede though that she loved ‘nice holidays’ adding: ‘I’ve always had nice holidays growing up… and Kairo is such a good boy on the plane.
‘I did a trip with him to the Maldives that had nothing to do with their dad but no one ever gave me props for that.’
She added: ‘I want to do more financially for my children and tell them: ‘I did that that came from me working hard.’
She denied that Walker had only met Kairo a handful of times, saying: My child just hasn’t formed a bond with someone over meeting four times.
‘He literally takes a Euros sticker of his dad to bed with him every night, and he’ll put it in a drawer overnight and then get it out and cuddle him.
‘How sad is that? If I could remove it and get it out of the drawer and get away with it I would.’
Friend Lisa Andrews said that she had reached out to Goodman on social media after hearing her story.
She said: ‘Buckle your seatbelt. It has been a really tough journey and even to this day its still tough 27 years later.’