In the lead up to the first Strictly Come Dancing live show of the season, there was a huge question mark hanging over the dance competition. How would the show address the months of scandal that have threatened to tarnish Strictly’s primetime sparkle, with allegations of backstage bullying?
Would we see behind the scenes footage of chaperones sitting in on rehearsals (each couple now has a member of staff present during all practices)? Would Tess and Claudia solemnly refer to the new welfare measures, just as they assiduously reminded us about social distancing when the show aired during Covid? Would Shirley Ballas make a speech? In the end, none of that happened. Instead, Strictly returned to doing what it does best – giving us a dose of glitzy, escapist chaos that played out like a surrealist fever dream, but with mahogany fake tans. It was a (slightly unhinged) business as usual approach that paid off.
Host Claudia Winkleman seemed to be channeling Princess Leia as she sauntered onto the ballroom floor wearing a white dress with a high neck and flowing sleeves (although over on Instagram, she hinted that she’d actually been inspired by the Greek crooner and kaftan aficionado Demis Roussos). Her out-there sartorial choices seemed to set the tone for an episode that really leaned into Strictly’s camp, larger-than-life character.
Soon, DIY SOS’s Nick Knowles was prancing around dressed like an intergalactic Bob the Builder, wearing a glitzy hi-vis vest, before he had some cake thrown in his face by pro dancer Carlos Gu. Miranda star Sarah Hadland was trying to teach her dance partner Vito Coppola how to make a decent cup of tea. And Pete Wicks, he of almost every reality show you can name, came down from the ceiling on a rope to perform a stompy Paso Doble. If the producers were hoping to distract viewers from the previous bad PR by just throwing weirder and weirder spectacles in front of us, they succeeded. Do we really need hand wringing when we can have the Dave Arch band gamely trying to cover The Prodigy?
Most baffling of all? Paul Merson and Karen Hauer’s American Smooth routine, performed to, wait for it, “Vindaloo” by Fat Les, a song that doesn’t exactly lend itself to well, smooth moves. Merson, who has been called up to fill the requisite “woefully bad footballer” slot previously occupied by his former Arsenal teammate Tony Adams, stomped around the floor, kicked a massive football and kept jumping up while clutching the air, as if clinging on to an imaginary space hopper. Was it entertaining or just plain stupid? Who knows, but arguing the case either way was pretty fun.
Even the judges seemed to be embracing the sense of chaos in the air. Head judge Shirley Ballas kept getting up to do miniature performances, showing exactly how each move could be perfected; at one point she kissed a bemused Motsi Mabuse on the lips. The newly bearded Craig Revel Horwood said one dancer looked more like they were strolling round a steelworks than performing (why a steelworks, Craig?) And Anton du Beke said what everyone was thinking when he pointed out that pro dancer Gorka Marquez (who is paired this year with Morning Live GP Dr Punam Krishan) never misses an opportunity to show off his abs. Going a bit off piste like this felt much truer to Strictly spirit than trying to rake over old scandals.
And then, to finish things off? Wynne Evans, aka that singing bloke from the “Go Compare” advert, burst out from under a silver dish wearing a chef’s hat and started singing along to a Tom Jones track (he’s Welsh, don’t you know?) before samba-ing around the floor with his partner, the ever-patient Katya Jones. The biggest surprise of all? For all of the strange buffet-themed props, he was actually quite good – perhaps there’s scope for him to do a Bill Bailey and go from wild card to potential winner.
There were also moments that remind us of just how powerful Strictly can be, too, like when comedian Chris McCausland, the show’s first ever blind contestant, took to the dance floor to perform a routine to “Twist and Shout” with partner Dianne Buswell. It was a truly impressive feat. And Amy Dowden’s return with new partner JB Gill, after taking a year off from the show to undergo treatment for cancer, received a worthy standing ovation.
Glimmers of emotion like these in amongst the panto-worthy pandemonium made tonight’s show classic Strictly. It was a big, mad sparkly riposte to all the naysayers who said that the show couldn’t go on (and yes, I was among them) – proof that there’s plenty of charm left in this format.
Strictly Come Dancing continues on Saturday 28 September on BBC One