Video game movie adaptations have spewed out some serious clunkers over the years. But even by the lamentable standards of the genre, Eli Roth’s reshoot-plagued Borderlands is abysmal. It’s so bad that Jack Black (voicing an insufferable robot) is only the second most annoying element in the film (Ariana Greenblatt, serving shrill giggles, bunny ears and cutesy improvised explosive devices, takes the top slot). The effects are so shoddy, you wonder if the entire post-production budget was blown on fine-tuning Cate Blanchett’s cheekbones. It’s so incoherent, you half expect to see the notorious director Uwe Boll’s name on the credits.
Blanchett plays a jaded bounty hunter hired by an interstellar oligarch to rescue his kidnapped daughter. She stalks through the film with a steely glare, clearly counting the days until she can unload her multi-barrelled space weapon into whoever persuaded her to take the role.