Saturday, November 23, 2024

Adoption: Bridgend woman reunited with son after 50 years

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By Maria CassidyBBC News

ITV Paula stands with her now adult son in the sunshine holding drinks, both smilingITV

Paula is reunited with her long-lost son after more than 50 years

Paula Beer was just 17 when she fell pregnant.

Afraid to tell her parents, she hid her pregnancy and travelled from her hometown of Bridgend to Essex to stay with her aunt.

At seven months pregnant, she decided to give her baby up for adoption.

After giving birth in February 1967, Paula spent just three days with her little boy before he was taken away.

Paula had been working in a grocery shop when she found out she was pregnant.

She said: “I was very young at the time and I was afraid to tell my parents.

“It was a different time back then and the shame was dreadful. I didn’t tell a soul, I kept it a secret for as long as I could.”

Paula decided to visit her aunt Ethel, and told her about a month after arriving, meaning she was eight months pregnant before she saw a doctor.

“It took me a month to tell her but she was very supportive,” she told BBC News.

ITV Black a white photograph of Paula's babyITV

Paula spent just three days with her baby boy

After giving birth, Paula named her baby boy Paul.

“I spoke to him everyday. I thought if I keep talking to you, telling him ‘I loved him’ everyday then he would remember my voice,” she said.

“The doctors and the adoption agency handled it all so well. I wanted my baby to go to a professional well-off family so he could have all the advantages of life.

“I wanted the family to be religious where there were other children who were adopted and they found a family.”

Paula’s baby stayed in a foster home for a few weeks before he was taken to his adoptive family.

“I went to house and a lovely lady with a kind face opened the door and invited me in.

“She pointed to his room and told me I could spend as much time as I want in there to say goodbye. She said when I was leaving I had to slam the door so she knows I have left and she would go to him.

“I cuddled and kissed him, over and over again. I couldn’t leave him. I felt like I was there the whole day.

“I then tore myself away from him and as I walked out the door, I slammed it as hard as I could because I didn’t want him to be left alone,” she recalled.

Two years later, Paula married and had a daughter. She had a successful career as a qualified professional home economist.

But she always thought about her little baby boy, where he was and if she would ever meet him. She then decided to contact the ITV programme, Long Lost Family.

The team spent a week in her home in Bridgend following her life, as she told her story.

“One day we were filming, Davina [McCall] was sitting on my sofa and she said, ‘Paula, we found your son’.

“I couldn’t believe it. I cried so much that they had to stop filming,” she said.

Paul’s name had been changed to Jim Tiltman and he had been living in Somerset. Jim found out about the search after he received a letter.

“The letter said that a lady called Paula had lost contact with a long-lost relative. I was surprised because I know that my name was Paul before I was adopted.

“I thought it may have been a sister but it blew my mind when I found out my mother was trying to contact me,” he said.

A few days later, Paula saw her baby for the first time in 50 years.

“I was so excited. When I walked into the room he walked over to me and gave me a hug,” she said.

“He then called me mum. I couldn’t believe it, he called me mum. He held my hand the whole time of that meeting.”

Jim’s adoptive family had died, and he says he never thought he would meet his birth mother.

“I can’t explain the connection I had with her when we held hands. I can’t believe it. I have a mum,” he said.

Paula, now 75, and Jim, 57, now speak every day and have enjoyed learning about each other.

“He’s had a wonderful life and they [Jim’s adoptive family] did their absolute best. He’s everything I wanted in a son,” Paula said.

“From losing my adoptive family to now finding my mother, I just can’t believe it. I’m really looking forward to the future, spending time together and having our relationship grow,” said Jim.

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