Saturday, November 9, 2024

Felicity Kendal reflects on the passing of her partner of 50 years Michael Rudman as she says there is ‘too much of a stiff upper lip’ around death

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Felicity Kendal has spoken about how she is coping with the death of her husband Michael Rudman more than a year after it was a revealed he had passed away.

Michael, who won a prestigious best revival Tony award for his Broadway production of Death of a Salesman, died in April 2023 aged 84.

Speaking candidly about how she is coping, Felicity, 77, told the The Times that it has been ‘f***ing shit’ losing her partner of 50 years.

During the conversation, Felicity spoke honestly about her experience with death and claimed that there is ‘too much of a stiff upper lip’ surrounding death. 

 Felicity said: ‘People say, are you OK? Of course I’m not. He just f***ing died on me. Some days I am very good. Sometimes not so good. Mostly, I am getting through. Stupid things set me off. It’s very strange. You can’t tell ahead what it’s going to be…’

Felicity Kendal has spoken about how she is coping with the death of her husband Michael Rudman more than a year after it was a revealed he had passed away (pictured 2023)

Michael, who won a prestigious best revival Tony award for his Broadway production of Death of a Salesman, died in April 2023 aged 84 (pictured together in 2008)

Michael, who won a prestigious best revival Tony award for his Broadway production of Death of a Salesman, died in April 2023 aged 84 (pictured together in 2008)

The Good Life star gave examples including realising she only needs six eggs rather than a dozen, reading poetry and shouting out ‘I love you’ to an empty house, as when she misses Michael the most.

She said: ‘If anything, I suppose I would like to say that it is good to talk about these things. There’s a lot of stiff upper lip with death. People avoid it or say things like, ‘I’m sorry you lost your husband. 

‘I actually hate that. It’s as if you have lost the cat. I haven’t lost Michael; he is dead. We are all at one point or another going to have to deal with similar things, so let’s be open about it.’

The theatre director met Felicity in 1974 while he was married to Veronica Bennett. 

The couple later married in 1983 after the actress divorced her first husband of 11 years, actor Drewe Henley. 

The American star described the secretive romance in his book, I Joke Too Much.

Recounting the first time he saw Felicity he wrote: ‘I can’t say I fell in love with her that day, but I certainly felt differently about her than I did about her co-stars Tom Courtenay and Michael Gambon.

‘I had been directing actors since the early Sixties at the National Theatre, in the West End and on Broadway, among other places.

Speaking candidly about how she is coping, Felicity, 77, told the The Times that it has been 'f***ing shit' losing her partner of 50 years (pictured together in 2010)

Speaking candidly about how she is coping, Felicity, 77, told the The Times that it has been ‘f***ing shit’ losing her partner of 50 years (pictured together in 2010) 

‘Soon afterwards I offered Felicity a role in a play I was directing in the West End.

‘The production went well and when, some time later, we began dating we decided to keep our relationship a secret.

‘This was quite difficult: I was now directing her in a play at the National Theatre, we both had children and my daughters, Amanda and Katy, spent every weekend with me. Still, I swore the girls to secrecy.’

The couple were married for seven years but divorced in 1991 when Felicity sensationally left him to begin a relationship with playwright Sir Tom Stoppard, who also left his wife Miriam.

Despite their divorce, Felicity and Michael rekindled their relationship in 1998 and remained together, despite not remarrying. They have one son together called Jacob.

Speaking of her love life in 2019, she said: ‘I didn’t ever have affairs. I just went from one person to another, maybe overlapping a little bit.

During the conversation, Felicity spoke honestly about her experience with death and claimed that there is 'too much of a stiff upper lip' surrounding death (pictured July 2024)

During the conversation, Felicity spoke honestly about her experience with death and claimed that there is ‘too much of a stiff upper lip’ surrounding death (pictured July 2024)

‘I wouldn’t recommend infidelity to anybody, ever, it’s basically lying – and lying is never a good idea. But we all lie and most of us, at some point… are unfaithful to a partner.’

Two years before his death, Michael had fought for his life after contracting Covid in 2021. 

He was treated for two weeks in intensive care, in what Felicity described as a ‘scary time’.

Speaking of the ordeal, she said: ‘I think I can speak for a lot of people about the fear being huge, and the frustration being a real hardship.

‘That feeling that you don’t know what state your loved one is in, and knowing you still can’t go and see them – it’s not like anything you’ve experienced before. It was just such a scary time. Michael is in his eighties.’ 

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